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Cardi B’s highly anticipated, Instagram-ready album Invasion of Privacy is finally here. In the coming days and weeks, you’ll no doubt hear the album broken down in every possible way: are all the cheating-boyfriend songs about Offset? Who are the subliminal disses aimed at? Is the record too commercial, or not commercial enough? How is her rapping? Were the features any good?
But right now, we don’t care about any of that. We went through Invasion of Privacy with a fine-tooth comb, and used actual math to determine what Bardi cares about the most. Below, Cardi B’s obsessions, according to Invasion of Privacy.
A note on methodology: We counted each lyric only once, even if it repeats. We counted only lyrics rapped or sung by Cardi herself. Being cheated on is omitted because it is the theme of two entire songs, so counting individual mentions is essentially impossible.
BITCHES: 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 (54 mentions)
No other topic obsesses Cardi quite like bitches. Whether they’re hating her guts, being stunted on, stabbing her in the back, or inspiring her to seek elective office (“Ride through your hood like, ‘Bitch, I’m the mayor’”), these bitches are all around, and Cardi is noting every move they make.
BEING THAT BITCH:👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 👸🏾 (10 mentions)
“Bitch” for Cardi is mostly an insult when referring to others. But when she’s talking about herself, it’s the ultimate compliment. She a “real bitch.” She’s “that bitch.” She’s a “boss bitch.” And given her come-up over the past 12 months, who can disagree?
STEALING YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: (10 mentions) 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
All of the rumors about her own relationship drama haven’t stopped Cardi from (lyrically) threatening to take your significant other right out from under you. And she’s refreshingly unbiased—whether it’s your “baby daddy” or your “bitch,” Cardi will steal them away without a second thought.
GOING FROM RAGS TO RICHES: 💰💰💰💰💰💰💰 (7 mentions)
Bartier Cardi has come a long way in a short time—from working at a supermarket to the heights of stardom (or, as she memorably puts it, “I went from making tuna sandwiches to making the news”). But she remembers her humble beginnings and—if her lyrics are any indication—is plenty appreciative of where she is now.
STRIPPING: 👯 👯 👯 👯 👯 (5 mentions)
Her former job at Sue’s Rendezvous plays a large part in Cardi’s mythology but, at least on Invasion of Privacy, a pretty small part in her songs. Stripping merits just a handful of lyrical mentions—but don’t think Cardi has her nose in the air or has forgotten about her past. She still frequently sticks up for her former co-workers on social media.
BEYONCE: 🐝🐝🐝 (3 mentions)
The Queen Bey plays a fascinating role throughout Invasion of Privacy. Her name pops up three times, in three wildly different contexts: as part of a punchline (“With them pretty-ass twins, you look like Beyoncé,” she quotes an impressed man as saying about her, in her words, “porn star titties”); as a singer of heart-rending songs about cheating (“Beyoncé on my stereo, ‘Resentment’ on repeat”); and, most notably, as a piece in Cardi’s own story, a marker of how far she’s traveled. “I took pictures with Beyoncé,” she raps, and she sounds amazed.