If I’m not mistaken—by the way, I’m not—Tony Vick and Kalenna have voiced concerns about volatility with respect to their finances in previous episodes of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta. With that in mind, if you’ve appeared on national television and openly voiced concerns about spending too much money on things like a big ass house you don’t need, would you be risking your savings in a risky investment like a club in fucking Atlanta, Ga.? If you do, you’re the type of person whose calls people duck around payday.

If you’ve heard the Diddy-Dirty Money’s Last Train to Paris album and her own Chamber of Diaries mixtape, you know Kalenna is quite the talented one. And yet, so much of her storyline is so far removed from music. If they plan on turning this club into Harpo’s Jook Joint with Kalenna playing the role of Shug Avery, I’d get them a little more. However, Kalenna ended up asking Joseline to perform at the club, so basically, in the opening minutes of last night’s show, all I got was a math problem: What happens when two blacks in the red turn to a new club to make some green?

in the opening minutes of last night’s show, all I got was a math problem: What happens when two blacks in the red turn to a new club to make some green?

I’ll let y’all solve the puzzle. In the meantime, I hope they decide to open up a Chick-fil-a franchise instead.    

Speaking of bad habits, what followed next was more talk about Nikko and his infamous porn shoot with Mimi. Margeaux reached out to Ariane’s gorgeous self to talk about their first meeting. You know, the one that ended with Margeaux and Mimi being separated by security. Margeaux informed Ariane that there are no secret audiotapes that prove Mimi’s ass is lying about her role in her porn hustle with Nikko, but an actual person willing to talk. Will the deep fried plot twists never end? 

Ariane took this information to Mimi, and to the surprise of no one, Mimi denied everything. Mimi then let her know that she’s not going to keep revisiting old shit. Finally, we agree. I understand Ariane’s intent is to “protect her,” but if the woman doesn’t want to talk about the tape anymore, respect that. Now, Ariane going to work with Margeaux is not cool. Business is business, but I doubt Ariane had to entertain any business involving Margeaux. She just seems more interested in being around her long enough to find more intel to expose her lying ass friend. 

Meanwhile, we learned that every now and then Joc’s baby mamas all get together for a “meeting of the moms.” They each seem to hate the term baby mama, but oh well. You broke and/or forgot the condom; live with the colloquialism. One of the women is actually Joc’s legal wife, though. Why are they not divorced, especially given that Joc knocked up two women after her at the same damn time? Your guess is as good as mine. During their annual harem meeting, Joc appeared with his latest boo thang, Khadiyah. This infuriated Joc’s fourth baby mama, Sina.

Sina called Khadiyah a “homewrecker” despite the reality that she carried a married man’s seed at the same time as another woman not legally married to him. It’s as if she owns a mirror, but refuses to accept the reflection. How Rachel Dolezal of her.

Sina threw a temper tantrum and had to get a pep talk from Joc’s wife. Then more bickering took place between the women only for Joc to dismiss his girlfriend and sponsor. This is the strangest shit ever. 

But, two points to Khadiyah for changing the locks on the Joc and throwing his clothes from a balcony. It was very Robin from Waiting to Exhale. She also cried a whole lot. Like, she would make an amazing character on a Tyler Perry or Centric network drama. Get that IMDB page popping, Khadiyah.

Thankfully, love was better illustrated on the show when Stevie J and Joseline met in a coffee shop to talk about Stevie “working with other bitches.” These are Joseline’s words, not mine. Stevie informed Joseline that he has not seen Tiffany Foxx since the night he was drunk out of his ass, embarrassing himself at her showcase. As for Jessica Dimepiece, he said she’s not on her level. I mean, to go from working with Bad Boy’s brightest and acts like Mariah Carey to a woman named Jessica Dimepiece is…you know. That said, Stevie J is on a VH1 show. Let’s not get too haughty now.

Even so, Joseline apologized and they embraced. (Stevie then palmed her ass.) 

After that kiss-and-make-up session came a meeting between Rasheeda and Ashley Nicole. Ashley Nicole apologized for her antics, and Rasheeda was not at all gracious about it. Rasheeda has great hair and she’s pretty, but she’s often rude and kind of obnoxious. She’s also still married to Kirk. I don’t care about her. Next. 

The show ended up with a monologue from Mimi Faust prancing around her kitchen, drinking wine and talking about her speaking her truth—starting with some person we have to wait until next week to see. This was a tease, but it made me want to spit. We all know Mimi is going to ask us to watch her whip, then watch her Nae Nae all around the truth per her damn usual. Maybe she’ll surprise me, though, and really come clean.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding. See y’all next week.

Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem, and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him @youngsinick.