Earlier this year, we were shocked to hear that Rick Ross had two seizures in one day. We all knew Rozay was living fast, but for a few hours we were worried he might actually die young. Thankfully, the Teflon Don was able to make a full recovery. "Had a couple seizures," he boasted on the "I'ma Boss" remix. "Call it minor setbacks." Seemingly, God forgave.

Although it won't be released this year as we once hoped, Ross’s album God Forgives, I Don’t is still on the way. But it’s not entirely clear who the bawse is refusing to forgive. In an attempt to narrow down the list of suspects, we reviewed ten of the likeliest candidates—and even suggested some creative punishments. May God bless 'em all.

Written by David Drake (@somanyshrimp)