Cargo Ship Accidentally Charts Course Resembling Penis Before Getting Stuck in Suez Canal and People Have Jokes

The vessel is massive but maybe not as massive as the inadvertent genitals it drew by way of its course prior to getting stuck and blocking trade.


Image via Getty/AFP PHOTO/HO/Suez Canal Authority


A phallic phantasma of the photographic variety has taken hold of the otherwise-phallus free discourse surrounding a stuck cargo ship.

The Ever Given vessel, as you may or may not already be aware depending on your tolerance for boat news, is said to have entered Egypt’s Suez Canal from the Red Sea on Tuesday before ultimately running aground. Per an Associated Press deep-dive on Thursday, both the ship’s operator and Egyptian authorities have pointed to wind gusts as the cause.

More than 10 percent of global trade (including a seven-percent chunk of global oil) passes through the canal in question. For each day the vessel remains stuck and blocking other traffic, according to the most recent estimates, “billions of dollars” in goods are prevented from embarking on their usual course. 

Navigation through the Suez Canal, as of Thursday and detailed in a Suez Canal Authority press release, is temporarily suspended. As previously reported, the stuck Ever Given vessel is estimated to be more than 1,300 feet long with a weight of approximately 220,000 metric tons. Put another way, the boat is big and its bigness is indeed exacerbating this international headache.

But not long after the stuckness of this very big boat was confirmed, Citizen Lab research John Scott-Railton pointed out a wholly incidental (though still readily embraced) facet of the Ever Given’s tracked course prior to the canal incident: 

Scott-Railton, notably, came upon this striking penis similarity using VesselFinder’s services.

Naturally, this sighting of a sheerly happenstance-spurred penis hasn’t gone unnoticed. Some have even argued that the tracked course image boasts what could be viewed as an ass, but we’ll leave that up to readers:

Latest in Life