Thots & Thoughts: Sage The Gemini and When to Simp in Private

Why do men insist on bothering their exs in public to take them back?

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Confused—that was my first reaction to any fawning over Sage The Gemini’s since deleted Instagram post publicly begging his ex, Jordin Sparks, to return his calls and take him back. Like, have I forgotten how to read? No, that couldn’t be it—hence a follow-up inquiry: What low-standards island do the whole lot of y’all live on? Do you need me to call for a rescue team?

Perhaps I’m showing both my age and high self-worth score, but please do not excuse a passive-aggressive public guilt trip to be the anything even remotely close to romantic. Yeah, yeah, Sage says a lot of nice things in the post, but he ultimately tells on himself when he says: "But yea this shit is crazy i just wanna tell you I'm still being a good boy just incase you come to your senses."

Look, Mary J. Blige didn't record all those albums for anyone to pressure Jordin Sparks into taking Sage the Gemini back.

You see that? “Just incase you come to your senses.” Boom: Got him. Ring the alarm: This is a run, sis, run situation.

While I salute Sage on his wonderful display of nice-nasty, this is a manipulative act masquerading as a sweet gesture. This is not humility. Sage is letting his entitlement and overall arrogance show when he uses the phrase “come to your senses.” It’s also a one-sided way of talking about the fallout of a relationship—to the general public, no less. She clearly left for a reason, sir, but go ahead and play the part of man fighting for love without acknowledging whatever it is they got you banished from phone answering privileges in the first place.

Not knowing when to leave well enough alone, Sage has followed up with the IG post by releasing a song entitled “I’ll Keep Loving You.”




If I had a creep meter, the shit would implode right about now.

We’ve been here before. Recall that in 2014 Robin Thicke dedicated an entire album to his then estranged wife, Paula Patton. He called the album—not ironically—Paula. (Patton finalized her divorce from Thicke in March 2015.)

On the singer-songwriter/Marvin Gaye enthusiast’s efforts, Ross Scarano said it was a teachable moment, writing: “The idea is that if we keep talking about sexist, misogynistic behavior, if we keep revealing how ideas that seem to have sprung from the very ground—‘Of course you try some grand gesture to win back your love, dude. That’s what women want!’ —are actually warped and creepy and wrong, maybe things will get better. We could all ignore what Robin Thicke is doing. Or we could keep talking about why he’s wrong and maybe that will help.”

In this instance, Sage the Gemini has missed the lesson, thus a child left behind. Unfortunately, some don’t see it that way, meaning Sage is looking like the nice guy while Jordin Sparks gets heckled by strangers online.

One comment left under Sparks IG reads: “Call him Jordin. I know you gotta take ‘one step at a time’ and that love always feels like a ‘battlefield’  but just ‘look into your heart’ and ‘now tell me’ that y'all didn't have that ‘casual love’ and he didn't make you feel like you were ‘walking on snow?’ Y'all relationship hit a rough patch but ‘you gotta want it’  just as bad as he does. He's not gonna give up on you because he believes you're ‘worth the wait’ and men, ‘they don't give’ up. How's he gonna breath with ‘no air?’ He just wants to be ‘next to you.’ So go ‘double tap’ his picture cause you know he's on your heart like a ‘tattoo.’ I just put all her songs in a sentence.”

We noticed, beloved.

Look, Mary J. Blige didn't record all those albums for anyone to pressure Jordin Sparks into taking Sage the Gemini back. Thankfully—slowly but surely—people have since left comments united by the theme “girl, don’t call his ass back.” I'm glad some are attuned to their better senses.

I don’t know what Sage did, but I do know public guilt trips are not a turn on. I also know sometimes you just have to respect a woman’s wishes and leave her the hell alone. Maybe forgiveness will marinate and they can start anew. Or not. Whatever the case, it’s not Sage’s call and right about now he is leading with ego, not with his heart.

The moment he comes to his senses, the sooner he’ll see this.

If I ever beg for a man like this, I demand every friend I have come to me and break my phone.

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