Rising sea levels and a presidential porn star sex scandal could be signaling the end of days for us humans. Good thing Costco has started selling food kits that can sustain a family of four for up to a year. So if Trump ends up starting a nuclear war with North Korea (or Russia, or Iran), I guess we won’t go hungry.
The kits range in price from about $1,000 to $6,000. The latter includes a whopping 600 cans of food to keep a family of four alive on 2,000 calories per-person, per-day. On the other hand, if you want to work on your bikini body during the zombie apocalypse, the cheapest kit has 96 cans of food and will feed one person on a diet of 1,200 calorie per-day or a year. Buyers can expect such delicacies as freeze-dried broccoli and dehydrated apples, which can last up to 25 years. Yum…I think. Other foodstuffs, like instant lentils and instant black beans have a 30-year shelf life. Damn. Who needs FEMA, when you have Costco?
Gotta hand it to the mega-retailer on the rather un-ironic marketing. Costco advertises the kit on their website: “Enjoy the comfort in knowing you have the essential foods your family will need to survive an emergency or natural disaster!” TBH, I don’t think that exclamation point was necessary.
All jokes aside, people are actually buying these kits and leaving reviews. “Worth every penny,” wrote one reviewer. As one might expect, people on Twitter have some thoughts.