Not a moment in smartphone history can pass in peace without someone, somewhere, hopping on Twitter to mock it. To be fair, we're all being mocked all the time and nothing really matters and everything is actually ethereal, but still. Can't we just enjoy New iPhone Day without simultaneously acknowledging our participation in something that's almost suffocatingly fleeting?
Tuesday's even-more-hyped-than-usual keynote event saw Tim Cook and company unveil both the iPhone 8 and the long-rumored iPhone X. Though the iPhone X is stacked with more new features and design changes than anything Apple has done since the first generation iPhone 10 year ago, the iPhone 8 (and 8 Plus) isn't without its cost-supporting upgrades. The simplest explanation for the 8 is to look at the devices as simply the S editions of the iPhone 7, meaning you're obviously not going to get exactly the same New iPhone Feel with the 8 models.
Still, some people just aren't into the idea of the game-changing X being introduced alongside the 8. Does the (more expensive!) X immediately render the 8 obsolete? Does this simultaneous unveiling of two drastically different models fit into Apple's famously forward-thinking approach to branding? Will humankind actually be around long enough to see the next iPhone?
Let's consult the jokes and general musings:
The iPhone 8 starts at $699, with the Plus going for $799 and up. The iPhone X (which won't ship out until November) will set you back a mere $999.
If anyone at Apple is reading this, feel free to send me one of each.