The world was met with an unfathomable tragedy Wednesday when, after viewing a viral video of an exploding sewage truck, writers were forced to admit that, yes, there are only so many poop puns to go around. As presumably enthusiastic news writers flooded Thesaurus.com's 'poop' page with heretofore unseen amounts of traffic, the unlucky motorist with a shit-drenched SUV was likely still fuming at the fact that, well, their shit-drenched SUV probably still reeks (of shit!)
The footage of the spontaneously combusting truck full of fecal matter was captured in Moscow earlier this week, according to RT. "Dear God!" the driver is heard saying when the feces splatters against another surely thrilled commuter's vehicle of choice. "A river of shit, a river of shit." Indeed. *checks Thesaurus.com again* A stream of dung!
So why all the dash cams in Russia, seemingly always capturing these (hopefully rare) moments of preposterousness? According to Wired, "almost everyone" in Russia is equipped with a dash-mounted camera due to both the size of the country and the "lax and often corrupt" law enforcement. Thus, exploding poop truck videos aren't exactly hard to come by.
Previously in detonated shit news, we told you about the harrowing real-life tale of New York's heat causing horse manure to burst into flames. But, hey, stay calm. The chances of an exploding poop story one day involving you or someone you know are still relatively slim.
Just don't drive too closely behind, in front of, beside, or generally anywhere near sewage trucks. Better yet, never leave your house. It's not worth it.