There are many different varieties of balls. Small balls, big balls. Human balls, animal balls. But who has the funniest balls? The well-endowed pig in the vintage news clip above, whose name and testicle-expanding diet remains a mystery, just might be the undisputed champ of balls-based hilarity:

The pig, fittingly named Goliath, kicks off a marathon of giggles for the CBS news crew that almost makes you forget this shit apparently went down decades ago. For reasons not entirely clear, the broadcast (roughly dated back to the '90s, a.k.a. the decade currently making nostalgists a ton of money at the box office) features multiple angles of Goliath's massive balls.

Are we not human? Have we not evolved beyond the point of giggling gregariously on live television at the sight of preposterously large pig testicles? Of course not. So let's just embrace the pig balls hysteria.

For further proof of the routine absurdity of local news broadcasts, balls-fatigued viewers need look no further than our recent roundup of the most awkwardly sexual exchanges that have ever occurred on the people-actually-watch-this-shit platform.

Professional journalism: a safe place to laugh at gigantic pig balls.