Though a ton of fake AF photos of so-called super rats have started popping up in the darker corners of the Internet in the past few months, the latest batch of terrifying photos has allegedly been verified as (gulp) the real thing. Jeff Sullivan, of the S.W.A.T. Total Pest Control service, tells news.com.au that one of his technicians discovered a two-foot rat "the size of a toddler" during a recent house call in Grimsby.
"I have been doing pest control for a considerable amount of time and this is the biggest we have ever caught," Sullivan says of the fear-inducing discovery. "You read and hear so many stories about super rats but we could not believe this one." If your nightmares are regularly inhabited by a massive group of these so-called "super rats," then you should be able to find comfort in Sullivan's take on the current status of rat growth. "Rats definitely seem to be getting bigger and it is worrying that they are getting this large," the pest control veteran insists.
Aside from simply looking and presumably acting in a grotesque manner, these alleged super rats provide a unique set of obstacles for local dogs ("I'd certainly be concerned if my dog came face to face with that rat," Sullivan cautions) and maize. "Maize is often grown in fields which makes sense in this instance," Sullivan says, noting vitamin K's ability to act as an antidote to potential rat poison and allowing the super rats to get even super-er. "It's the size of the teeth that are a concern as well."
All of this, of course, is really just tremendous news for everyone not already plagued with sadness by the current state of American politics and the continued absence of Mad Men. Not only is everything growing increasingly terrible, now we have these goddamn super rats to worry about. Great.