Eau That’s Awful: The 10 Most Hilarious Celebrity Fragrances

It seems these days just about any singer, reality star, and even TV show with a hit on their hands soon looks to capitalize on their 15 minutes by making the entrepreneurial leap into the fragrance game. So, it didn’t come as much of a surprise when Fergie decided to get in on the action. What did, however, was when her perfume was declared, well, good by the Fragrance Foundation. The self-appointed Duchess is being awarded New Fragrance Celebrity of the Year for the (apparently) successful launch of her scent, “Outspoken.” In honor of Ferg’s ascent to legitimacy, we decided to get “outspoken” about The 10 Most Hilarious Celebrity Fragrances.

10. “Power” by 50 Cent

“I wanted to make something that smells like success,” 50 has said of his men’s cologne. With its composition of lemon leaves, black pepper, coriander and nutmeg, seems you’ll be smelling less like power, more like Fitty’s spice rack.

9. “Konvict” by Akon

If you’re a sucker for packaging, you’ll love the “Locked Up” crooner’s handcuff-shaped perfume bottles, which come connected with their very own chain. The cologne, consisting of bergamot and lemon, is billed as one perfect for a night on the town, though the name makes it sound more like something a sex offender would spritz on.

8. “Jennifer Aniston” by Jennifer Aniston

According to the actress, the scent will smell of “Jasmine on summer evenings” and the “uplifting, sensual” scent of the ocean. We imagine it evoking something a little more like burned photographs and unreturned phone calls.

7. “Unforgivable Woman” by Diddy

The real unforgivable person is whoever convinced Diddy that this was an apt title for a fragrance. The name makes it sound like it was created specifically for the kind of woman with removable teeth you see prowling Atlantic City streets at 3am. Or the one you’re seeing this weekend while your lady is away. Smells like regret to us. Not to Diddy—there’s a reason why he’s one of the most paid people in hip-hop, this is one of the best selling fragrances of all time.

6. “Monster” by Lady Gaga

Of her forthcoming 2012 fragrance, pop’s gender ambiguous, steak-clad first lady has expressed that her fans can look forward to the sweet, sweet smells of “blood and semen.” Mmm, savory. Sounds like R. Kelly’s sheets.

5. “Carlos Santana” by Carlos Santana

Sometimes there are celeb forays into new realms that raise a few eyebrows at first, then make us realize how silly we were for doubting them—like 50 Cent, who’s made millions off his grape Vitamin Water, or Dr. Dre, whose headphones you can spot on at least one in five pairs of ears on the street. Carlos Santana’s “Carlos Santana” fragrance is not one of these. The Mexican rock guitarist might be a legend, but he ranks low on the list of dudes we want to smell like.

4. “Unbreakable” by Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom

3. “Cat Deluxe with Kisses” by Naomi Campbell

No, this isn’t the name of a new kitty litter—it’s Naomi’s “flirty” cardamom and pink pepper-infused scent. Well, it’s not too hard to imagine why this name was allowed to fly; clearly no one wanted to argue with the infamously volatile model for fear of being beat down with a phone.

2. “Circus Fantasy” by Britney Spears

Britney’s “Circus Fantasy” straight up sounds like a bad acid trip. While the singer’s slogan might urge wearers to “steal the show” in her semi-modestly priced scent, we’d much rather steal away from anyone who’d opt to wear something that calls clowns, bearded ladies, and Britney’s head shaving days to mind.

1. “Cumming” by Alan Cumming

Need we say more?