St. Patrick's Day Survival Guide: How to Dress for a Full Day of Drinking

At it's purest form, clothing is the thin shield that stands between ourselves and our surrounding environment. So when preparing for a massive amount of drinking in celebration of St. Patrick's Day, it's imperative to dress for one of the most extreme environments possible. When you're ingesting chemicals that are meant to deaden all forms of mental and physical capacities, you better hope your clothes can stand up to whatever bedlam and chaos you're putting yourself through.

Chances are you're going to be surrounded by people who are also planning on using alcohol as a means to morphing into barbaric Huns, and so it's imperative that you have the right gear that's going to take as much punishment as your liver. Whether you're undertaking this marathon bout of boozing as an annual passage, or do it every weekend, this is How to Dress for Intense St. Patricks Day Drinking.

In the course of 24 hours of drinking, you're gonna come across some gnarly shit, and nothing's going to take more of a pounding than your footwear. So choose wisely and strap up with the most proven boots out there. Some people choose to wear Tims as a style choice; on St. Patrick's Day you're wearing them to stomp through puddles of vomit, hop across rivers of blood, and have an ocean of beer spilled onto them. They're definitely up for the challenge.

Buy It Now at Timberland, $180

If we were heading into a nasty situation, especially one that had us surrounded by hordes of angry/horny drunkards, we would definitely want pants that are built for action. By which we mean they'll repel liquid, breathe nicely in hot bars, and accommodate whatever crazy movements we're somehow capable of on the dance floor when we're wasted. We've tested the Levi's Commuter pants before, and they passed with flying colors. These are definitely the number one choice for charging into St. Patrick's Day head-first.

Buy It Now at Levi's, $88

A leather jacket is as versatile as all the obstacles and challenges you'll face during St. Patrick's Day. It'll keep you warm, is as stylish as it gets, and makes for a nice pillow when you're locked up in the drunk tank. And if any fellow reveler starts being an asshole, flexing on him in a Schott Perfecto leather jacket is the best way to get him to step off.

Buy It Now at Schott NYC, $660

If you're gonna last 24 hours, you're gonna need to stay hydrated. Or you can fill it with beer. Either way, this is a handy, albeit nerdy, way of transporting a few gallons of essential liquids as you barhop your way around the city. And if you do fill it with booze, you'll never have to go a minute without slurping down more firewater.

Buy It Now at Camelbak, $80

Partying hard means starting to drink when the sun's still up. And partying really hard means going until the sun's up again. In both instances, you'll need some essential shades so you can keep the party going. And, if you find a lucky lady, you'll definitely need these the next morning on the walk of shame/stride of pride. Garrett Leight offers plenty of options, and is a brand that's all about that work hard play hard life.

Buy It Now at Garrett Leight, $285-$440

There's no getting around it: drinking massive amounts of booze over a healthy period of time is going to make things...messy. That's why this pair of Merino wool long underwear from Isaora is an absolute essential to regulating the awfulness that'll be start around hour three of drinking and stay terrible until your next shower. And when your pants are sopped from beer spillage, these'll keep your true essentials as dry as possible.

Buy It Now at Isaora, $124

Even if it's not raining, you'll want to take this bad boy out on St. Patty's. Blunt umbrellas can withstand whateve nature throws your way, and also whatever a crowd of unruly drunks throws your way. See a dude that's about to hurl? Unfurl this Blunt umbrella and you'll remain vom-free. It's also a great tool for plowing your way through a crowd. And finally, when you pass out in the gutter, open this up and snooze behind it so you don't get picked up by po-po.

Buy It Now at Blunt Umbrellas, $124

There's nothing more manly and liquid-repellent than a quality waxed canvas piece. Throw on this 18 Waits overshirt and you'll be ready for the various spills, spit, and vomit that's sure to fly on St. Patty's Day. It's the sloppiest celebration of the year, so you'll need this stylish garment for pure protection. And this sturdy piece will do its job at every St. Patrick's Day celebration for the rest of your life.

Buy It Now at 18 Waits, $345

Outlier sought to create clothes that were more conducive to the way a man's body moved, and altered the construction of classic garments to allow for more movement. Combine that with technical fabrics that repel liquids and the result is a shirt that's perfect for a rowdy drinking session. It may not be what the brand's creators were thinking, but we'll be damned if we're going to drunkenly dance, fight, and run from the cops in anything else (and not necessarily in that order).

Buy It Now at Outlier, $144

Remember when you were broke and you would sneak a flask into a bar and just order ginger ales all night and get absolutely twisted? With every bar packed to the gills, it's time to bust this move out again. This time, Filson's handsome flask won't make you look broke though. You'll just look like the smart guy who planned ahead and can turn every trip bus ride/bathroom trip/court appearance into a party.

Buy it Now at Filson, $70