How to Crash a Fashion Week Party

If all else fails this is your best bet. Take a quick glance at the list and check who isn’t marked off. Make sure you get an easy name, though - nothing Japanese. The last thing you want to do, as a guy is to say that you’re Yoko Ono because you don’t know if Yoko is a guy or girl name. Keep it simple. Good luck.

Want to know a secret? New people in the industry don’t make much money and usually have an unhealthy shopping addiction. That chick at the door is probably only bringing in $14,000 a year and is definitely looking at a pair of Miu Mius because they’re fetch as fuck. Slip her a c-note to hold her down for the night and walk into that party like the god you are.

There’s too much hustle and bustle going on at most of these events. Show up early and camp out across the street. As guests start to arrive all at once, keep your head up confidently and quickly try to push your way into the crowd. The velvet ropes will usually party like the Red Sea and you can easily piggyback some important people while posing at assistants. It’s too easy sometimes.

When it comes down to it, the more good looking people at the party there are, the better the party looks a week later when photos come out. Fashion can be extremely shallow at time, so why can’t you be as well?

If you're nervous an feel like backing out, try some liquid courage. Calm those nerves with a drink or two and walk up to the doorman with confidence. But avoid getting wasted—trying to get in after three or four drinks might just get you the Jazzy Jeff exit.

So, designers have assistants running the doors for them in the early stages of the night because they usually have a personal relation with some of the people coming to the show. After a given time, an intern usually takes handle of the door so the assistant can have a good time and sniff themselves a couple of 8-balls. Show up later and drop a bunch of really high-end names that you just made up and no one has ever heard about. If all else fails ask for their name, and then hit them with the, “YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN THIS INDUSTRY AGAIN!”

They say 100% of the time, this works every time. Get your story straight before you walk up to the door and have a Canon DJAN292910blahblah strapped around your neck. The Neanderthals working the door will usually just let you walk right in or ask you what company you’re with. Slip them some fake agency name but make sure you say it super confidently, unless you enjoy being the only person in the history of NYFW to get denied from taking photos for free.

You can call them “working girls” or “escorts,” whatever boats your float. You just need to make sure that there are two beautiful chicks on your arms and one holding your coat. It makes you look wild important. If worst comes to worst and your strapped for cash, I guess you could always just ask your little sister.

Here’s what most young kids don’t know, Fashion Week is the #1 week in NYC where slavery is basically legal. Anyone can intern for anyone for that one week, and there are so many interns, no company can actually keep track of who they all are. So, all you have to do is show up very early wearing all black and claim you’re an intern for one of the companies hosting the event, then just hide out in the bathroom until the party starts. Might be a couple hours, but it's totally worth it.