Image via Complex Original
Earlier today, the NFL showed off new Twitter hashtag emojis for each team ahead of the upcoming season. Now, we don't specifically have a problem with emojis or the National Football League (well, besides the NFL kinda sorta killing people), but when you're preparing for an exciting year of last-minute drives, shocking upsets, and childhood memory-erasing hits and get slapped in the face with #SiegeTheDay, it's time to speak up.
So we've gone through all 32 of the new emojis, and carefully (read: hastily) separated them into four groups: ACCEPTABLE, YOU TRIED, YOU DIDN'T TRY, AND TRASH. Find out where your squad lands below.
ACCEPTABLE
These are the least-bad emojis of the bunch, mostly due to the fact that these were all popular phrases before the team emojis were ever announced. I'm talking way before hashtags.
#KeepPounding still feels a little weird, but the NFL got Cam Newton and Steph Curry to say it so much last year that it's now acceptable.
And even though #HTTR is racist, at least it's not "#JetUp", right?
YOU TRIED
An A for effort. Can't blame a team for trying, right? These were the squads that went with slogans, and even if they are horrible, you have to salute them for being creative. #ForTheShoe? That's so uncomfortably bad that it deserves our respect. They could've just gone with #Colts or #WhatMarvinHarrisonMurders? or #OurWildlyOverratedQuarterbackHasAFlipPhone, but they zagged and went with a horseshoe reference. Bravo.
#Skol is the most confusing hashtag in the entire league, and we can only assume it's Nordic for "We got swindled out of a first rounder for Sam Bradford why God why did you do that to Teddy's knee?" You know...or something.
#WeAreTexans, while a nice effort, is too close to an insurance jingle. "We are Texans, bum bahbum bum bum bum bum."
And Ravens—why not #Nevermore? Read a poem for me one time, Baltimore.
YOU DIDN'T TRY
Way to show up the last day before the group project and try to swindle your way into a passing grade, guys. #Patriots? How clever. #DallasCowboys? Jerry must've hired some geniuses on his social team. Should've just gone with #AmericasTeam and had us all openly hate them.
#GoBills? It's #BillsMafia. The NFL can try to run from it, but we know who Bills fans really are. They're #BillsMafia, drunk and cold half-Canadians who suplex each other through tables and watch losing football.
A little effort goes a long way.
TRASH
Welcome to Trashville. Population: The Giants, Cardinals, Bears, Rams, Dolphins, Saints, Steelers, Titans, Jets, and Buccaneers.
Where do we even start? #BeRedSeeRed is horrible, Arizona. Your team is a pretty red bird. If a Cardinal got angry it would probably just fly off and be pretty somewhere else.
#Saints50 should be #WhoDat and anyone who says different is police.
The Pittsburgh Steelers are an 83-year-old team with six Super Bowls and countless legends. So naturally it makes sense to use the same slogan as a (still ongoing?) Bud Light campaign.
#FeedDaBears should just be #DaBears. Why overthink it? And who feeds a bear? We've all seen The Revenant—bears don't get fed. They feed. They maul your back with their claws and leave you for dead so that you can eventually be gifted a long-overdue Academy Award. #BearFacts.
Also—too much Up. #JetUp, #TitanUp, #FinsUp—#ShutUp. Wack.
#MobSquad is a little too on the nose for LA, especially since California NFL fans are literally a violent and stabby mob. Philly fans may be hoagiemouth'd snowball-hucking morons, but the Rams' #MobSquad is likely to knife you in a crowded men's bathroom. Gotta think these things through.
And finally, the worst hashtag in the league—#SiegeTheDay. A hashtag so terrible it's terribleness requires no further explanation. Bucs fans are already spelling it wrong.
Clean it up, NFL. There's no excuse for the most profitable sports league on earth to subject it's fans to #SiegeTheDay.
