Image via Complex Original
Intro
Some people you follow on Twitter because you are friends with them. Others you follow because you are a fan of their work as an artist, athlete, or performer. Then there are the people that you follow purely because the ridiculousness that spews across their page is so bad that it's impossible not to look.
Former MLB slugger, steroid user, and snitch Jose Canseco falls into that final category. Whether it's the unbelievably elementary language mistakes he makes, the hateful tirades he goes on, or the celebrity phone numbers that he posts, his feed is a constant source of laughter and entertainment. Once we were able to stop shaking our heads at the nonsense he tweets, we went through and listed Jose Canseco's Top 10 Twitter Fails. Enjoy.
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The "Chandeleer" Swap
9. The "Chandeleer" Swap
Date: 6/16/2011
If you follow Jose Canseco long enough on Twitter, you will realize that dude has an intense love for chandeliers (and constantly misspelling it). Here, Canseco actually thinks that a light company would be down to trade signed equipment for a chandelier? FOH, fam. Sounds like this isn't the first time Jose's tried to hawk some memorabilia for crystals. Yes, we mean that kind.
Fenway Fit
8. Fenway Fit
Date: 1/23-24/2012 (Deleted)
We won't even address the fact that career numbers don't mean shit once you're old, washed up, and off the juice. Did he really just compare himself to child molesters and murderers? Considering he murdered his career and molested the lives of several ex-teammates with that book, I guess that comparison kinda makes sense.
Forever Young
7. Forever Young
Date: 3/13/2012
This was just the start of another classic example of Canseco's Twitter clinic. He followed that up by asking, "Why do people in colder climates live 20% longer than warmer climates?" As he explained, cells slow down when cooler and learn to survive tough conditions. He suggests that, because we sleep for 35% of our lives, we should sleep in cryogenic chambers. If he ever gets his hands on one, we will make it our personal responsibility to destroy it. We don't need him living any longer than he should. #thehaterunsdeep
Shaq-Fu, where are you?
6. Shaq-Fu, Where Are You?
Date: 3/8/2012
On November 23, 2011, Canseco accepted Shaq's challenge to an MMA fight. For about three months after, the dust remained settled. That was until Jose called out Shaq in ALL-CAPS on March 8. Since then, the fight is all Canseco has thought about, tweeting to Shaq on 25 more occasions this month alone. Damn, someone's hungry for a piece of The Big Diesel. Ayo! Be careful what you wish for.
Canseco Tries His Hand at Poetry
4. Canseco Tries His Hand at Poetry
Date: 8/8/2011
It started off so promising...but then it just took a turn for the worse. Kinda like your days as a major leaguer, huh? #justsayin
The Dangers of Horseback Riding
3. The Dangers of Horseback Riding
Date: 1/31/2010
During his MLB playing days, Canseco did his fair share of ball bruising. Sorry, let us clarify. By that we mean bashing the baseball. He also left plenty of asses chapped. Yeah, there's no sugar-coating that one. A butt slap by a juiced up player probably hurts like hell. Pause?
The Lei of the Land
1. The Lei of the Land
Date: 7/9/2011 (Deleted)
Once Jose Canseco met Leila Shennib in 2009 at the Playboy Mansion, the two fell in love quickly, much to the disapproval of the model's family and friends. When the pair broke up after two years together, Canseco took to Twitter to discuss personal matters and even posted Leila's phone number. Stay classy, Jose. Stay classy.