You Can Hate-Watch The Unrated Version of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' in May

If you're into it, the UNRATED edition of each and every shade of "Grey" is coming to Blu-ray in May.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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If you're like me, you probably lose sleep at night because you're obsessively worried about someone eventually gifting you with a copy of the Fifty Shades of Grey book, forcing you to confront this friend or family member with the very serious problem of poorly made books becoming poorly made movies, thus boosting the sales of the original poorly made books which will now all become poorly made movies.  Also, the first book came out four years ago, so it's an embarrassing artifact at this point.

Thankfully, you can forget that fear because a new one is here to take its place — Universal's depressingly successful film will invade the surprisingly-still-a-thing Blu-ray market via an UNRATED edition. Remember holding your thumb over the PARENTAL ADVISORY sticker of The Slim Shady LP in 1999 so your mom wouldn't notice it? Well, UNRATED editions of movies are nothing like that. They're essentially just blatant marketing ploys meant to trick consumers into believing they're participating in something unapologetically adult, maybe even "taboo" (the mom word for "risqué," which is the former dad word for "Dirrty," which is a dated Christina Aguilera reference).  The reality, of course, is that the film in question gets pretty much everything about actual S&M completely wrong.

I'm so depressed now.




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