Image via Complex Original
In this week's Hella Bandwidth, Don Lemon makes many want to go dig up Ed Bradley because even if dead, he could do a much better job than the rising CNN personality. Plus Joan Rivers and Ray J burn my eyes and brain cells, Twitter tries it, white people found another black dance to emulate, and the term "boy pussy" goes viral. Don't blame me, folks. This is the Internet y'all gave me.
Michael Arceneaux (@youngsinick) is a writer, but some days when he looks at his student loan debt, wishes he worked at The Players Club. For more of his work, check out The Cynical Ones.
The Internet Killed That Guy From Seinfeld
Some random ass website that makes money off of creating false stories for clicks made up the death of Seinfeld actor Wayne Knight, who played Newman on the popular 90s sitcom. It spread all over Twitter and Facebook (probably late, as per usual), only to force Knight to tweet, "Hey, y'all, I ain't dead and shit." Y'all gotta cut this out.
Don Lemon & CNN Troll Us About Flight MH370
If you thought CNN couldn't get anymore ridiculous than the way it's been in the last year or three, the network and one of its more polarizing anchors, Don Lemon, actively courted whatever conspiracy theory people with absolutely no knowledge of flying could come up with. A black hole? Did Jesus call them home in light of the rapture? Is the plane in North Korea? Maybe Yogi and Dick Tracy hijacked the plane in a clever disguise? What the fuck, CNN? Ed Gordon's BET career didn't die so Don Lemon could live with all that stupidity on a news program.
The Arizona State Meme
Cameron Ridley led the No. 7 Texas Longhorns past the No. 10 ASU Sun Devils, 87-85, in a last-second, buzzer-beater victory. This photo of ASU player went viral and, as you can imagine, the Internet went HAM.
Turkey Puts Twitter On Timeout
Clearly a hater and feeling guilty, Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has tried to ban Twitter in his country after social media recordings exposed corruption in the administration. He said, "We'll eradicate Twitter. I don't care what the international community says. Everyone will witness the power of the Turkish Republic." Yeah, they're watching, and people can still tweet by way of SMS text. Clown.
Joan Rivers & Ray J Make A Sex Tape
The idea of Ray J making a spoof sex tape with Joan Rivers would be funny if it wasn't filmed seven years after the Kim Kardashian/Ray J sex tape, which has already been dissected to death at what feels like a million times over. Ray J, move on, or at the very least, screw someone else semi-famous and drop that new shit already. This is beyond old now.
Twitter May Try To Ruin Itself
Twitter is considering phasing out @ replies in the name of making the user experience better. Sound familiar? If so, it's probably because you recall this happening on Facebook. Over and over and over again. And how often do you check your Facebook account now when you don't want to talk to your kinfolk? Exactly.
Throw That Boy P****
So a gay rapper from Houston named Fly Young Red released a video for the subtly-titled single, "Throw That Boy Pussy." The video went viral, quickly, and now a generation of gay men will have straight women sing to them, "What's your real name and not your Jack'd name?" Houston, no matter what, we still have Beyoncé.
Google Earth Did Not Find This Fake Woman
As legend has it, Gemma Sheridan,washed up on a beach, and much like Tom Hanks in Castaway, made a lil' life for herself as she longed to be rescued. And that rescue came in the form of her writing "SOS" in the sand and someone finding it via Google Earth. This article spread all over Facebook but ending up not being true. Duh! 'Cause the story was printed on a site called News-Hound.biz and looks like a throwback Tripod page.
The Internet Reacts To The KimYe Vogue Cover
Despite years of shading Kim Kardashian and the cheapning of celebrity in general, Anna Wintour has relented and allowed Kim Kardashian to grace the cover of Vogue—with Kanye West, of course. Not surprisingly, the Internet reacted as expected. I'm not sure whether or not Anna finally just said, "Oh, hell, Internet, you win, dammit. You win!" or if she's somewhere locked in a closet and Kim K. has the key. Either way, it is a new day. Some people are excited, others...not so much.
White People Have Found The Nae Nae
White People Have Found The Nae Nae
I didn't know white people discovered the Nae Nae, but thanks to Vine, I can now confirm it. To Kevin Canevari's credit, dude is getting it, only now I worry whether or not the Nae Nae will be changed to "The Natalie." Don't get me wrong, white folks, I don't mind you dancing. See Pink, the early years. But you saw what Miley Cyrus did to twerkng. I reserve the right to be fearful.