The 25 Hottest Cheerleaders In Movies

In American Beauty, Mena Suvari is the reason why we hope our future daughters join their high school’s cheerleading team. Because, shit, if a balding square like Kevin Spacey can attract an athletic dancer as cute as her, we’ll have an entire squad’s worth of female pep rally advocates on our jock. Pats self on the back.

Not that we’d ever take it further than salutations and flirtations—they don’t call it “jail bait” for nothing. But knowing that hot-piece teens are interested certainly fills a middle-aged man with additional self-confidence. Spacey’s character, for example, thinks he’s the man after Suvari, playing his daughter’s best friend, blatantly comes on to him. He knows it, she wants it, and we’re just left feeling envious.

Marley Shelton’s character in the dark comedy Sugar & Spice didn’t need to exert much energy to steal our hearts; after all, she’s a cheerleader by day and a dirty bank robber by night. Taking others’ property is what she does best.

Apparently, she’s also a pro in the sack. Shelton’s Diane Weston is pregnant, though she hasn’t an ounce of baby-fat on her washboard stomach. So, to review, she’s knocked-up and gets off on pulling bank heists—not exactly ideal wifey material. The justification for Shelton’s inclusion on this countdown is right there up above: We couldn’t deny a face like that. Even if she’d put a gun to our foreheads and pick our pockets while we stared into her blue eyes.

We don’t know what’s sadder: the plane crash that killed 37 Marshall University football players in 1970, or the fact that such an inspirational story ended up being told through a pair of uninteresting Matthew’s, McConaughey and Fox.

OK, so obviously the former is the bigger tragedy, yet it’s tough not to think about how good of a sports movie We Are Marshall could’ve been with two different leads. Instead of motivating audiences, McConaughey always seems like he’s about to hang ten, while Lost star Fox’s range stretches from bland to pretty dull.

At least there’s Kate Mara, though, the beautiful and perennially underused redhead who plays the film’s main cheerleader. It’s a bit part, but every bit helps when you’ve got Surfer, Dude on board.

Some would say that Tommy Lee Jones should be ashamed of himself for effortlessly collecting a paycheck in the high-concept, but low quality, comedy Man Of The House. The award worthy actor checked out mentally to play a humorless Texas Ranger assigned to work undercover as an assistant cheer coach after some of the girls witness a homicide. And, adding insult to Jones’ injury, Cedric the Entertainer shows up to spew unfunny dialogue.

It’d be easy to clown the great Jones, but take a look at the five beauties he shared most of his screen time with; it’s not like he’s knocking down many young, nubile minxes the likes of Christina Milian and Paula Garces in real life. We can only hope that perky girls in cheerleader costumes hang on our arms when we’re in our 50s. It’s either that or Viagra.

On the low, the sequels to Bring It On have elevated the cheerleader franchise into the most consistently watchable straight-to-DVD brand in the market. It doesn’t take a mathematician to understand why—the casts are primarily made up of hot chicks bouncing around in very little clothing. What, you thought we watched Bring It On for the intricate character development?

The third sequel, Bring It On: In It To Win It, has something to do with one good team of cuties going up against a less friendly crew of stuck-up rivals; so, yeah, it’s a radical departure story-wise. Who cares about narrative creativity when you’ve got the gorgeous Cassie Scerbo sassing it up as the head mean girl. And no, not as in “her head game is mean.” Get your minds out of the gutter.

Believe it or not, Hollywood hadn’t defecated out a shitty movie about guys sneaking into a cheerleading camp just to get laid until 2009. Doesn’t that seem like the kind of perfunctory concept that would’ve made its way onto a big screen back in the Porky’s era?

Expectedly, Fired Up! is every bit as lame as the premise suggests. The movie works on a purely superficial level, however, since its all-girl camp setting means that several hot yet unknown actresses were able to work. The luckiest one of them all is Sarah Roemer, who followed up the surprisingly good Shia LaBeouf flick Disturbia with a starring role in this flop.

Since that failed career move, her only project of note has been NBC’s pretentious Lost wannabe The Event. OK, so Fired Up! isn’t the worst thing she’s ever done.

Full disclosure of both our age and guiltiest of TV pleasure: We’ve been sweating Marla Sokoloff since her days as Stephanie Tanner’s bad seed of a best friend on Full House. We even own Whatever It Takes, the forgotten 2000 teen comedy on James Franco’s resume, simply because she has a couple of freaky moments in it.

So please believe that we’re big fans of the underrated teen angst comedy Sugar & Spice, which includes Sokoloff’s last starring role before she disappeared into D-list anonymity. She plays a goodie-two-shoes cheerleader who can’t decide whether to snitch on her armed felon teammates or honor the spirit squad code of trust.

Her final course of action is cleverly handled, one of the reasons why Sugar & Spice just might be the best cheerleader movie out there. Don’t say we’ve never settled any age-old debates.

Yes, technically Debbie Does Dallas, one of the most notorious porno flicks of all time, is a cheerleader movie. In fact, it’s a motivational film for all girls who dress in sexy outfits to root for their school’s teams.

Unlike most porn entries, Debbie Does Dallas actually has a plot, or at least a narrative justification for the endless sex. The title character scores a chance to try out for the fictional Texas Cowgirls cheer squad, but her parents refuse to pay for the trip to Dallas. In order to raise cash for the trip, Debbie and her hot cheer sisters start blowing dudes and forming pyramids by bending over doggy style.

The message in Debbie Does Dallas is clear: Don’t be afraid to go that extra mile, ladies.

If we were soft and gave a damn about such things as female empowerment and defying women’s stereotypes, we’d talk in detail about how Jennifer Lawrence’s character in The Beaver is some kind of positive role model. You know, because she’s a sexually desirable cheerleader who’s also incredibly smart and eloquent.

But, alas, we don’t have time for any of that sissy shit (chest bump!). While some who pay to see Mel Gibson play with his hand puppet might gain some pro-chick insight, we’ll be too busy dreaming up naughty scenarios that combine Lawrence with the words “hand” and “beaver.” Sorry, Jodie Foster, but you never stood a chance.

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: A white girl from a privileged family butts heads with inner city black and Hispanic chicks before the racially different sides come together in the name of dance. Perhaps you’ve never seen that movie, because, well, all of the films with that plotline are crap, but you’ve at least come across a third-rate teen drama of that kind in a DVD store, even if you didn’t know it.

On the rich honky side in the derivative Bring It On: All Or Nothing is Hayden Panettiere, who looks great in a sports bra; on the opposing hood side, there’s Franca Raisa, who looks even better in a sports bra. See, we’ve found some common ground. Now if only they’d get rid of the racial profiling and reshoot the movie with a few “trying on bras together” montages, we’d have something fresh on our hands.

In the minds of prepubescent boys growing up in mid '80s, Kerri Green had the sexy actress game in a chokehold. With her long red hair, glowing smile, and tendency to play cheerleaders with hearts of gold, the one-time teen idol was the rare desirable celeb who seemed somewhat within the dating grasps of everyday guys. Which obviously wasn’t the case.

She first achieved dreamgirl infamy in 1985’s The Goonies, playing the popular cheerleader who’s confident enough to hunt for pirate’s treasure with the nerdy kids in town. A year later, Green once again donned the pom-poms and skirt in Lucas, in which the redhead chases after a jock played by none other Mr. Adonis DNA himself, Charlie Sheen.

We’ve chosen Lucas merely as a challenge to ourselves, to not make one joke about “winning.” Damn, does that count?

Early into Bring It On, Gabrielle Union’s sassy antagonist, Isis, is set up to be the unsympathetic, ruthless, and, yes, urban foil to Kirsten Dunst’s wholesome hero from the suburbs. In one of the movie’s few clever bits, however, Union turns out to be a likeable antihero who’s mature enough to squash her beef with Dunst and facilitate the perquisite “happy ending.”

Of course, we’re reading way too much into a goofy flick that’s not above an extended car wash scene replete with half-naked chicks dripping with water. Really, we should be upset that Union, who’s long had one of the tightest bodies in Hollywood, doesn’t participate in the soapy goodness. But you can’t always get what you want.

You've got to love Quentin Tarantino and his shameless T&A indulgences. As hotshot actress Lee Montgomery in the writer-director’s exploitation throwback Death Proof, cutie deluxe Mary Elizabeth Winstead struts around in a bright yellow cheerleader’s outfit for no apparent reason.

Actually, we shouldn’t undermine Tarantino’s brilliance like that; we’re pretty sure that Winstead’s random attire was chosen just so QT could sneak in shots of her long, fine legs. For a guy who’s usually obsessed with women’s feet, panning up to a hottie’s legs is a sign of artistic maturity.

Though, moments before Winstead’s introduction, Tarantino shows a female’s leg plopping onto concrete after getting ripped off in a car accident. Nobody ever accused Tarantino of being subtly perverse.

Remember John Tucker Must Die? Shit, we barely do ourselves. The non-event of a teen comedy does hold up for one reason, though: It’s an excuse to reminisce about the good old days when Ashanti was one of the finest chicks in the R&B game.

Whatever happened to her, anyway? There was once a time when our daydreams featured Ashanti in all kinds of role-playing attire (perhaps inspired by her laughably miscast turn as a zombie killer/nurse in Resident Evil: Extinction). Strangely enough, we never thought to dress her in a cheerleader’s outfit, but here’s proof that such a get-up definitely becomes her.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to catch up on some missed fantasy opportunities.

It must suck to be a punter, or, even worse, a football squad’s offensive tackle. While the plus-sized OT’s blocks that save the quarterback’s ass go underappreciated, the QB celebrates victories in a hot tub with the gorgeous cheerleading captain. If you don’t think that quarterbacks have all the luck, have a look at Ali Larter in Varsity Blues.

As the movie begins, she’s dating the Division I-bound quarterback (Paul Walker), but then an injury ends his career. So what does Larter do? Naturally, she drops her crippled boyfriend, slathers some whipped cream on her nips, and tries to seduce the new QB.

We’re pretty sure her character would try to bang a one-armed midget if the little guy were to toss a pigskin—she’s that thirsty for a play-caller.

So what if Danneel Harris’ small part in Fired Up! consists of little more than looking hot and standing around while less-hot people get all of the shine. We’re not her agents. No, we’re just the guys who watched this sophomoric teen sex comedy and hoped that there’d at least be an all-cheerleader shower scene—anything that’d give Harris a reason to disrobe and show her fellow cast members how to really swipe some scenes.

Zack Snyder recently caught tons of flack for his all-girl action flick Sucker Punch, which was accused of being a sexist, immature male fantasy of the most hackneyed variety. Had the 300 director taken the straight-to-bargain-bin route, however, he’d be considered the king of the fall-off, sure, but also a B-movie fan’s favorite director du jour.

You see, hot-chicks-with-weapons flicks such as Sucker Punch are hailed as notable works of art in cinema’s underworld, where Ninja Cheerleaders comfortably exists. It’s about three cheerleaders (one of whom is former The Real World: Las Vegas cast member Trishelle) who moonlight as both strippers and samurai warriors. And that’s pretty much the extent of the plot.

Like Sucker Punch, it's basically catnip for horny teenage boys who couldn’t give a shit less about cinematography, set design, or thespian prowess. In other words, each and every one of our inner selves.

Before Sarah Michelle Gellar and Joss Whedon combined to make fanboy TV history with the hit show Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the character was first introduced in an altogether shitty teen horror-comedy. Acting vets Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer slum it alongside a vapid Luke Perry (yes, he did actually make movies) and an overacting David Arquette (as opposed to his other, more restrained performances, of course).

The campy misfire’s only saving grace is star Kristy Swanson, who’s arguably hotter than Gellar as airhead-turned-warrior Buffy. When she’s not driving wooden stakes into the hearts of teen vampires that look like Hot Topic patrons, Swanson hits the gym floor for some cheers and gyrations. Any time she’s off screen, though, Buffy The Vampire Slayer sucks. And bites. And, for the vampire pun trifecta, runs cold.

Brooke Langton should be considered a real team player for what she did in The Replacements. As if playing the thankless role of a one-dimensional cheerleader/love interest isn’t bad enough, the former Melrose Place actress also had to pretend that Keanu “Whoa” Reeves was the least bit charming, or interesting. Hopefully she got paid overtime.

To point out the obvious, Reeves turned in yet another one of his catatonic performances in The Replacements. His botched effort is made all the more infuriating when you realize that part of his assignment was to develop sexual chemistry with the hot-as-hell Langton. Bullpen catchers have more demanding job requirements than that.

It’s common knowledge that Disaster Movie, like every other movie written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, is an abomination unfairly plastered onto celluloid. The non-existence of the cast’s collective acting chops is also widely known, especially when it comes to Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo, who almost seem to be competing with each other for a Razzie.

When watching a travesty such as Disaster Movie (something we’d never recommend), it’s best to look for any and all silver linings. In this case, Kardashian and Minnillo showing leg and flat stomachs in red cheerleading suits. For leaving us with countless fantasies centered upon three-ways in girls’ locker rooms, the non-acting pair deserves an AVN Award, not a Razzie.

Many things come to mind when we think of Christina Milian: paparazzi shots of her wearing bikinis, the way she humped air in her steamy “Dip It Low” video, how amazingly stupid The-Dream must be to think his turtle-looking ass could pull a chick hotter than her. One image definitely not conjured is Milian as a streetwise hood chick.

That’s what the straight-to-Blockbuster Bring It On: Fight To The Finish tried to sell us; unsurprisingly, we bought right into the questionable casting. Well, momentarily, that is. By film’s end, she hooks up with an actor named, get this, Cody Longo, who looks like a Gossip Girl reject and makes Robert Pattinson’s acting skills comparable to Ryan Gosling. What’s hood about that?

It takes a lot for an actress to steal attention away from a centerfold caliber co-star who walks around naked the entire movie. Cerina Vincent’s “Areola” (both her character and either one of, well, you know) is no match for Jaime Pressly in Not Another Teen Movie, though; as the mean yet pristine cheerleader, Pressly brings to mind every bitchy Miss Popular from our high school days, and boy did we want to discipline those chicks.

Pressly isn’t just immensely attractive in this teen comedy spoof; she’s also really damn funny. Truth be told, she’s the best thing about this marginally humorous flick, and did we mention that she’s competing against a nude Cerina Vincent? That should’ve been worth a Screen Actors Guild Award, at least.

Any teenage Dungeons & Dragons master knows all about the evil ways of high school cheerleaders. Walking down the hallways in short skirts and push-up bras, the temptresses with pom-poms stimulate nerds’ hormones without ever helping dudes relieve any tension. Thus, it’s up to Palmela and her girl Handgela.

In the forgettable horror-comedy Jennifer’s Body, though, Megan Fox takes soul-crushing to an all-new level of pain. She plays a promiscuous cheerleader who becomes a man-eating, and somewhat lesbian, demon; in one scene, she flirts with the creepy Goth kid before ripping out his heart with her teeth.

That’s not exactly the kind of “oral” we’d hope for, but horny dudes would be hard-pressed to defend themselves against an open-mouthed Fox. Or just hard.

In Starsky & Hutch, Carmen Electra and Amy Smart are our types of girls. All in one day, they meet a couple of nosy detectives, decide to party with them, take some drugs, hit a club, and then cap the night off with a little two girls/one cop ménage à trois action. Shit like that only happens in movies, and to guys like Owen Wilson.

Oh yeah, Electra and Smart are cheerleaders, too, which extends their sexual appeal to even greater heights. More than likely, their characters are the kinds of pom-pom-pushers who shower together after practice and help each other stretch. Once again, our types of girls.

Whoever was responsible for casting the hit comedy Bring It On deserves some serious dap.

First off, they commendably gave Eliza Dushku a role, giving us lustful guys the rare opportunity to see the brunette stunner in something other than a Joss Whedon-produced TV series. More importantly, though, the movie’s casting department did so knowing that Dushku would have to wear a variety of sports bras and, in Bring It On’s lone moment of excellence, get all soapy and wet in a teeny bikini.

The only person who could possibly hate the flick’s casting department: Bring It On headliner Kirsten Dunst, who by comparison looks like a long-haired boy in swimwear during the car wash scene.