Happy Father's Day: The Coolest Bad Celebrity Dads
This Sunday is Father's Day, when we celebrate dads around the world. Well, most dads. Not the ones that left us in the Port Authority Bus Terminal on Halloween and told us to "trick" our way home; not the ones that told us "toilet paper is for grown folks"; and definitely not the ones that told us "walk it off" when that shard of fibula was sticking out of our shin.
But what about the dads who are a little too cool for their own good (or their progeny's good)? The father that spikes his daughter's bat mitzvah punch bowl, the pops that shares his porn stash, the dad that sponsors the little league squad's hash brownie drive? Yeah, we got love for those dads, too (even if they are in jail), and in honor of their big day, we're saluting five of the coolest bad celebrity dads.
RONALD HENRY BRAND
Son: Russell Brand
Dad's occupation: Photographer
Why dad was cool: According to Complex, Ronald took a 16-year-old Russell to a Hong Kong brothel.
Why dad was bad: Russell fought sex addiction as an adult...wait, why the fuck would you "fight" sex addiction?
Complex says: We're not fans of monogamy, unless you've been to a Hong Kong brothel when you were 16, or you're marrying Katy Perry. Or both.
JOHN KIEDIS
Son: Anthony Kiedis, lead singer, Red Hot Chili Peppers
Dad's occupation: Actor, drug dealer to the stars
Why dad was cool: In addition to introducing his son to marijuana at the age of 11, John got lil' Tony laid when he was 12 (by John's own 18-year-old girlfriend).
Why dad was bad: Anthony struggled with drug addiction for much of his adult life. Also, dad was watching when Anthony turned in his V-card, which, if not "bad," is definitely really fucking weird.
Complex says: Quick question: Is the fun of losing your virginity to your dad's girlfriend completely negated if pops sticks around to watch?
ROBERT DOWNEY SR.
Son: Robert Downey Jr.
Dad's occupation: Actor, filmmaker
Why dad was cool: Introduced Bobby Jr. to cocaine when Jr. was 8 and they did lines with Jack Nicholson.
Why dad was bad: Well...after getting his first taste before he was 10, Robert Jr. didn't quit snorting coke until he was in his late 30s. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, nor does the eightball.
Complex says: Note to selves: When compiling "Best Worst Celebrity Child Abuse Enablers," Jack Nicholson (Roman Polanski, Downey Sr.) is no. 1.
DAVID HASSELHOFF
Daughters: Hayley (left) and Taylor Ann
Dad's occupation: Actor
Why dad was cool: Got drunk with his kids in Las Vegas and made a viral Internet video!
Why dad was bad: By "with" we mean "in front of" and by "viral Internet video" we mean "attempt by said daughters to shame dad into giving up booze."
Complex says: Where the hell was Jack Nicholson while all this fun was going on?
RYAN O'NEAL
Son:
Dad's occupation:
Why dad was cool:
Why dad was bad:
Complex says:
BONUS: BIRDMAN
Son: Lil Wayne
Dad's occupation: Label boss, rapper
Why dad was cool: Had his "son" "raped" when he was 11
Why dad was bad: There've been rumors of financial misdealings (and a kiss, too).
Complex says: What is it with dads (even non-biological ones) wanting to hook their sons up with sex and then hanging around to watch?
