Every Position You Need to Fill on a Successful Heroic Squad
If you were to set up your own squad to save the day, here are the people that would join you.
Image via Complex Original
If you were to set up your own squad to save the day, you already know the people you’d send a Facebook invite to join you. There are certain slots you need to fill, and, let’s face it, there can’t be two “badasses with a heart of gold.” It just doesn’t work that way. Somebody has to get cut out.
If you’ve ever seen an action movie, or a superhero movie, then you already know the characters. There’s got to be a guy who can handle the bombs, but there’s not really a dude who’s great at identifying different types of antiques and analyzing the value of it. That type of dude wouldn’t really be necessary while trying to save the world. So, in case you need help compiling your buddies into a group, here is a list of Every Position You Need to Fill on a Successful Heroic Squad.
The Leader
Too many chefs in the kitchen ruins the soup, so they say. As with any group, a successful squad needs a leader, otherwise chaos reigns. There has to be one level-headed person to pull the group together, to inspire them, and to set out their plan of attack. They’re generally trustworthy and kind, but won’t hesitate to put a bullet in an enemy’s head.
The Badass With a Heart of Gold
A badass with a heart of gold is one of the most beloved tropes in action films. A man who will slit another’s throat open—but still makes sure a little girl can find her lost puppy—is a huge crowd pleaser. The Badass will always respect women and protect children, but you will probably see him put a cigarette out in someone’s eye, too. Audiences love a guy who hides his compassionate and delicate heart behind the barrel of a gun. People eat it up when guys like Han Solo emphasize, repeatedly, that he’s only “in it for the money,” then shows up at the last minute to save the day; or when Tony Stark, when asked if he had a wife, says, “I had a cellist—I think.” Why is this character so popular? Probably because men aren’t allowed to feel emotion, but it’s okay to show a little humanity after slaying some bad guys.
The Demolitions Expert
If it’s a real-life hero squad, and not a “superhero squad,” then there will always be a demolitions expert. Somebody has to get them into the bank, somebody has to blow up a car, and somebody has to snip the right wire when the clock is ticking down to zero. Otherwise, why even have a multi-million dollar budget? We need those explosions.
The Everyman
He’s the guy who just gets swept up in it all. The regular Joe, Joe Schmo, Joey Two Thumbs, Joe Plumber. He’s just a completely normal guy who somehow gets in with squad. He’s there to serve the purpose of audience immersion. Audiences connect with him; “Hey! I’m normal and boring too! He’s just like me!” He usually feels like he doesn’t belong in the entire film, then realizes he has something to offer right at the end to save the day.
The Wise Elder
No matter how old we get, we always feel like children. Be honest, don’t you still feel like you’re 16 but now you have bills to pay? It sucks. And we constantly are searching for words of wisdom and advice from those older than us. When we found out our parents were as equally as clueless as we were, our world came crashing down. That’s why action squads need a Wise Elder. He knows the ways of the world, he’s always three steps ahead, and he’s just like grandpa—making us feel better when we stumble, but hopefully without the drinking problem.
The Sad Clown
Action movies need a comedic relief, otherwise it’s just heart-pounding drama for two hours. That’s really bad for your anxiety, and if you’re in awful shape, that’s one handful of popcorn and one high-speed car chase away from a heart attack. Enter: the Sad Clown. He provides most of the comedy throughout the movie, but there’s something heart wrenching behind his eyes. Then, he lets his backstory be known. God, why are the happiest people always the saddest. Don’t cry, don’t cry, keep it together.
The Girl
In order to not appear “sexist,” action squads now include The Girl. Just one—let’s not get crazy, this isn’t a tea party. They serve as a way to try to broaden the target audience, but really, with the tight outfits and flirtations, they just bring in more dudes.
The Brain
When a group of brawny guys get a bunch of badass toys that don’t exist in the real world, audiences get skeptical. Like, hold up, how’d this guy who just took a crowbar to the brain, and is probably suffering severe brain damage, build something like that? He doesn’t; he’s got a guy to do that for him. The Brain makes it all for him. We totally believe a geeky person can build a pen that’s also a camcorder, PEZ dispenser, and can cut open large windows in the shape of a circle, right?
The Untrustworthy Guy
There’s always one, right? You can’t tell if he’s maybe just kind of sketchy; maybe he’ll secretly reveal a “good guy” side in one scene, but you’re still kind of uncomfortable when he’s around. Like, we probably shouldn’t trust this guy. Then, when he ultimately betrays the squad, you can pat yourself on the back. You were right, he was a jerk.