What would Seinfeld be without the perennial failings of George Costanza to laugh at? While best friend Jerry dates a new woman each week and flourishes in his career, George (played by Jason Alexander) is, more often than not, catching one life-brick after another. He fails spectacularly with the ladies, of course, but the lion's share of Costanza story arcs and subplots involve his near-endless search for a job. And when he finally gets one, the fails continue, because George is a self-destructive narcissist.
Yup, over the course of nine seasons, George has basically experienced everything, the lows of being an unemployed Broke Boy™ and the highs of being a comfortably employed fuccboi. Who better to take dos and don'ts advice from than a guy who's been through it all, right?* Let George Costanza tell you how to avoid the fuckshit and flourish in corporate America, with these GIFs of his greatest workplace hits—and his funniest misses.
*In actuality, considering dude spent five whole seasons unemployed, one should probably heed everything George does, and do the exact opposite.
Get revenge on your fuccboi boss.
The severance package is a flourish.
Take no bullsh*t in a pitch meeting.
A fresh suit makes the perfect impression.
The world is your oyster after you nail an interview.
Christen a new job (and a new desk) the proper way.
Become the boss' pet.
The inter-office hookup is inevitable.
Grab a nap wherever you can.
Abuse the perks as much as possible.
Quit while you're ahead.
Watch your race jokes.
Keep a comeback ready.
Always appear stressed and under pressure.
When in doubt, do nothing.
Get yourself fired when a better job opens up.
When all else fails, do the opposite.
