A Master Guide to Pulling Off the Perfect Surprise Party

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There is one thing you have to ask yourself before making any moves towards planning a surprise party: Does your honoree even want a surprise party? It might be that your honoree doesn’t actually like surprises; some people don’t like being the center of attention. However, some people love surprises and love the limelight.

If your honoree does like surprises, then here’s another question to ask yourself: What type of surprise party does he or she want? Some people would rather kick it low-key with a group of friends than have a big blowout. Some people want a huge bash, and others want something in between. Ultimately, it’s not about what you like or want, but what your honoree likes and wants. A surprise party is like a gift, but you should make sure it’s a gift that your honoree is down for so your party will be sans one Grumpy Cat.

As Pam, Phyllis, and Angela demonstrated, everything is better with friends! Employ an accomplice who will help you plan the event—a best friend always makes a great co-conspirator—and who will also escort the honoree in while you are tending to your party guests.

While Pam, Phyllis, and Angela were the holy triumvirate of party planners, there was something that our OG committee lacked: Starting sooner rather than later. You don’t want your life’s version of Michael Scott breathing down your neck over minute celebratory details. Begin planning well in advance to avoid any similar encounters with heavy-hoverers and any unwanted party planning panic attacks.

You could plan the party yourself and hire people to help during the actual party, such as a party planner for the day of, who would be responsible for making everything happen while you play the role of the doting host. You can also hire people to bartend, waitress, and clean up during and after the party.

Pick the guest list wisely after deciding what kind of party you're throwing. If it’s an intimate gathering, stick to family and close friends; if it’s going to be a wild, raucous party, the sky’s the limit. Bottom line is, it should be filled with the honoree's closest friends, not yours. Maybe you have to put up with your boy's coworker who always cops the sneakers he saw you wearing last week and then shows up like they were his idea. For a few hours, you might have to make nice with your girl's college friends that still call you "the rebound." The best surprise parties pull long lost friends out of the woodwork. Show you care by making sure all the most important people in the guest of honor's life are on deck. Then you can continue to avoid them forever after you get the props for throwing the best party of all time. 

Picking the perfect day to have the party is essential. If you want the party to be a true surprise, then picking an off-day, such as the weekend before or after, works better because the honoree won’t know what’s coming. If you want to host the party on the day of the big event you’re celebrating, then you really have to keep the party plans under lock-and-key. Give your guests fair warning about the date so that they can fit it in their schedules. 

And on the big day, have everyone arrive early so you have no stragglers—it’ll prevent any funny sitcom situations from happening IRL. You know, the one where everyone hides because someone just rung the doorbell, and they think it’s the honoree arriving but it’s just a late guest. Not that hilarious outside of TV.

Food and music are the bedrock of life, so there’s no way you can do without either at a surprise party. As far as food goes, decide whether you’re going for a snacks and munchies vibe or a full-blown dinner: Maybe you just want finger food, or maybe you want a four-course meal. Or maybe you’re opting for an all-alcohol buffet in lieu of edibles. One thing’s for certain though: There must be cake! Simple or complicated, the presence of some sort of sugary, baked, bread-like food slathered with icing is muy importante.

And speaking of vibe, what is the preferred choice of music? Disco? Rap? Heavy metal hair bands? We got the club goin’ up on a Tuesday? Hiring a performer or DJ is a great investment and it’s something that ups the party atmosphere. After all, music is just important as nourishment.

After you’ve put all this effort into planning a menu and picking your entertainment, you can’t do without decorations. Embellishments like streamers and balloons—which you can pick up from the party store—are easy. Or you can get a li’l DIY creative by creating your own banner with photos of your honoree and his or her guests. Another idea is throwing bundles of glowsticks in mason jars for when the lights go off and everyone wants to #ShmoneyDance (whatever happened to the C-Walk, though?).

Something simple like that would definitely be adequate for a house party, but if you’re hosting the party at an actual venue, then you might want to get fancy and pick a theme. For 50th birthdays, for example, a jazzy Frank Sinatra theme would be spot on, or for a sweet 16, a floral theme would be perfect. If it’s a milestone moment in your honoree’s life, then think about opting for a photographer, even if it’s just for the first hour. Or—and again with the DIY—you could give your guests disposable cameras so they can take photos themselves. Perhaps corny, but those kind of memories are nice to look back on.

Avoiding sus behavior and picking the perfect location go hand-in-hand when planning a surprise party. Random places are a no-go. Pick a place that your honoree frequents often so you don’t get found out, or a place he or she has always wanted to go to but hasn’t, and book it in advance. Make sure that you’re allowed to have your own food and decorations, if that’s part of your strategy. Also, make sure to make plans with your honoree in advance so he or she is available for their own party, because that would probably be the lamest thing to happen in the history of surprise parties—honoree ain’t even there.

Treat this party as if it were a top-secret mission. Even give it a code name if you’d like—anything to keep you from spoiling the surprise! Another important facet to the surprise is making sure your guests understand that it’s a secret. Tell your honoree’s more gossip-prone friends about the party closer to the day of so the secret remains intact. And instead of working on the party during the evening when you get off work, which will probably be your natural inclination, do your research during lunch.

A practice run might do you some good, especially if you’re nervous for the big surprise. Heck, maybe President Obama is sliding through your city that day and streets have been cordoned off. Knowing something as small as how long it takes to get to the party venue, knowing the best route, figuring out traffic problems, or any other obstacles in your way can ease your worries. Hurdles like those can throw off your party’s ‘big reveal,’ which is the most important element to the surprise party equation—botching that would probably ruin the whole thing. No pressure!

Let things roll off your back. You don’t need to plan everything down to the last detail because, in all honesty, it will never turn out exactly the way you want. The attitude of the party comes directly from the host, so if the host feels tense, annoyed, or anxious, then the guests will sense it. But if the host is having an epic time, then the guests will have an epic time too. Chill and enjoy yourself. It’ll all work out.