Jared Hyams has been fighting the good fight for the past five years, trying to get his signature recognised across the state, Fairfax Media reports. The only thing that’s unusual about this, is that the 33-year-old’s sign-off is actually a penis – and surprisingly, several institutions have refused to accept this as an official signature.
The problems began when the Blackburn South man decided to change his address with the Australian Electoral Commission, who he figured wouldn’t really notice that he’d drawn a male appendage in the box that requests a signature.
"I thought it would be a laugh; they would approve it and next year I would sign something different," Hyams said.
After the signature was processed, Hyams received letters and phone calls denying him from using the phallic signature – causing him to enter a defiant battle with state and federal government agencies over what a legitimate signature can look like, and igniting his interest in pursuing a law degree.
This led to Hyams applying for a passport, driver’s license and proof of age card with his signature schlong. Since then, the AEC, VicRoads, The Department of Trade and Foreign Affairs and The Department of Justice are among some of the bodies to cock-block his signature, including in court, for varying reasons including its offensive nature and the possibility that it may be construed as sexual harassment.
However, Hyams has actually managed to put his penned pecker on his driver’s license, proof of age card, health care card, student cards, library cards, and even open a bank account using the stiffened symbol. Hyam has said that he will only change his signature when the government departments withdraw their opposition to it – cementing his status as a true warrior for justice, and not the hero that we deserve, but the hero we need.