Anyone who says things like "It's the thought that counts" has probably never received a truly horrendous holiday gift. Another subscription to yet another Fruit of the Month club? Thanks, guy from the office whose name is either John or Justin! Thankfully, though his Last Week Tonight brand of HBO-sponsored truth doesn't properly return until February, John Oliver decided to drop a web exclusive detailing exactly how to regift all the ridiculously bad gifts you're certain to receive this season.
"During the holidays, you're going to receive at least one profoundly underwhelming gift," Oliver says with understandable urgency. "That’s just a fact. At some point this month, you will unwrap a present that induces the sort of jaw-dropping disappointment that one normally associates with the term 'lettuce wrap.'" Interestingly enough, some of us would actually be thrilled to open a box of lettuce wraps.
The trick to regifting without anyone knowing, says John, is to simply get rid of any unwanted presents at your respective office's surely abysmal Secret Santa party. "Regifting [at the Secret Santa party] is like peeing in the ocean," John explains. "Sure, it’s not right, but it’s an ultimately harmless solution to an urgent problem."
Happy metaphorical ocean urination, world. Don't let a trash gift get you down.