Nickelodeon has graciously stepped in to provide the cinematic accompaniment to your next trip, announcing Thursday it has secured the American rights to the BBC reboot of Teletubbies for Nick Jr. and the equally Jr.-themed subscription service Noggin. The original Teletubbies series ran for four brilliant years, accumulating a ludicrously dense 365 episodes before it ended in 2001.
As previously reported, the BBC reboot features vocal work from BBC Radio 1 DJ Fearne Cotton, Antonia Thomas, and admirably coasting Oscar-winner Jim Broadbent. The reboot reportedly retains the nightmare-enducing anti-charm of the original, while also employing "a whole new feel" — which is either a completely horrifying or entirely comforting thought, depending on your relationship to the giggly titans of nonsensical children's television.
A previously scrapped draft of the press release presumably read:
"Hi, kids. Do you like violence? Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? Try 'cid and get f:)cked up worse than my life is?
Teletubbies Season Two."