Early this morning, Kylie Jenner uploaded a very good video to Instagram featuring her, her butt, French Montana, a piggyback ride, and Khloe Kardashian's voice. It is very good. And though it doesn't sound like much, this 14-second clip was able to speak multitudes and make me feel and think (probably too many) things. So here goes, in chronological order:
Many people (me included, to be honest) thought French Montana was going to be a blip on the Kardashian radar—like, a three episode arc, tops—but he's really engrained himself in that family! It's almost as if E! fired Rob Kardashian and was like, "Who can play the brother now? Could French just do it?" Then French burst through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man, yelled "Haan!" and threw Kylie Jenner on his back.
Note how dark it is. Then note French Montana's sunglasses. Conclusion: French Montana can't see shit in this video.
French is a wordsmith (examples: "Alphet," "Chairs to life") and "Fuck with us but don't fuck with us" is his latest masterpiece. Leave it to Kylie to tank the new saying immediately though with her amendment, "Fuck with us, but don't ta—don'tsayheytomeifyouseemeinpublic." In brainstorming, sometimes the first idea is the best idea.
Then there's Khloe coming through with a butt joke that very much resembles a brick: "Damn, Kylie, what you packing back there, the Meatpacking District?" Are you asking your little sister if she's holding a New York City neighborhood in her ass? EVERYONE, JUST LEAVE THE TALKING TO FRENCH MONTANA.
I didn't know that Khlotana—the portmanteau Kylie used in her caption—was a thing, but I'm really glad it is.
This has been, "I Have a Lot of Thoughts." Be well and remember: fuck with us, but don't fuck with us.
