We hear the announcement in every port of travel: report any unattended bags in the terminal to security. Someone did their civic duty Saturday, when they spotted a messenger bag stuffed behind a concrete barrier at a New York City bus station. The bomb squad was called out, and the canines did not find any explosives. But the squad discovered that the satchel contained 1,000 condoms of various makes, sizes, and brands.
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After winter storm Juno was downgraded from a major blizzard in New York to a stormy nuisance in New York, perhaps the discarded bag belonged to a Craigslist "Blizzard Boyfriend" whose own civic duties were no longer necessary. Or maybe someone was banking on a significant other's flight to be delayed for days by Juno and had to quickly cancel a major sex party once they were only delayed by hours.
Regardless, now that the bag has been removed, that's 1,000 fucks not being given in those rubbers.
[via the Associated Press]
