ComplexCon returns to Long Beach Nov. 6 - 7 with hosts J. Balvin and Kristen Noel Crawley, performances by A$AP Rocky and Turnstile, and more shopping and drops.

Secure your spot while tickets last!

White girl rappers, white tears bingo, white people's new favorite toy, and Charles Barkley all star in the latest roundup. And then musings on what your hot chocolate drink says about you, the good thing about Miley Cyrus, and poor, poor Mariah Carey. Pray for Mariah Carey's throat, y'all.

Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.