Date: 5/7/14
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Crime: Gross Lewdness and Public Intoxication
Ratchet Meter: 9

God forgives, but not for incidents like this. A couple getting married at a Salt Lake City, Utah church last weekend had the show stolen from them by another couple who decided sex on the church lawn was a good idea.

According to the Smoking Gun, 60-year-old Sandra Kruse and 56-year-old Wilson Benally were in the throes of lust in front of Sacred Heart Catholic Church on May 3 when a police officer approached them. What he saw is enough to blind someone, make them vomit or turn them to stone. Or all three. Benally had his "tongue and finger inside of Ms. Krusen's vagina," the police report states.

What's worse, the wedding party, which included four children, bore witness to this atrocity. The arresting officer had to literally pry Benally away from Krusen to stop him from continuing. Both were charged with gross lewdness and public intoxication, while Benally received additional charges for criminal trespass.

Nobody wants to think about their wedding day and remember this, and God bless those poor children.