Each week, True Blood promises excess. How many werewolves can bone at once, and is it nicer with fur or without? How hard do vampire fangs get when a faerie walks into a room? These are the kinds of questions prompted by the show. As a way to recap the series, which we're getting a little bored with, to be totes honest, we'll be ranking the nudity in terms of gratuitousness.

The second episode of season six, entitled "The Sun," delivered very little sexy sex. The only penetration we got was when superhunk Eric dug a special UV-light bullet out of Tara's body with a broken beer bottle. That's no one's idea of a good time. Until this season—bold prediction—introduces Cenobites. (We can hope!)

The only nudity came when Bill flashed to a luscious field of green, where three naked and bloody and lithe women led him to Lilith. Lilith informed him that he was in No Place, and we were all SERIOUSLY, LILITH? NO PLACE?

The scene was mostly gratuituous, but kept in line with Lillith's penchant for being bloody and naked. So, narrative cohesion? Sure.

This nudity gets: One werewolf red rocket out of five.

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