You may think it's the dude from NBA Jam (a common misconception) but we'd disqualify him anyways because he's doing nothing but repeating "Boom Shaka Laka!" and crapping his pants at every dunk.

In actuality the first video game play-by-play guy was programmed in 1991 for Joe Montana Sports Talk Football (and he is as incoherent as the game's title). It was a rare instance where Madden didn't beat their competitors to an innovation. Sure the commentator sucks (even by 1991 standards) but is he really anymore robotic, stale and confused than Tim McCarver? Yes, yes he is. Besides, when commentary is your main selling point you're probably hocking (or buying) a total turd.