If you pick a major like this, you might end up doing something like, oh I don't know, writing top ten lists on the Internet. The major would probably be more useful if it were geared towards list writing, copywriting, or creating internal memos, because that is the majority of the writing that people get paid to do. But, you're an artist, damn it, so you should spend four years learning how to express yourself. Of course, by "expressing yourself" we mean having all of your ideas beat out of you as your embittered professor tries to turn you into a Raymond Carver clone. Your teachers will frown on "genre fiction," and by this they mean "all of the stuff that makes any money." Why write the next Game of the Thrones or Twilight when you can write another story about how the fading picket fence that divides the land of two suburban neighbors is symbolic of their alcohol-ravaged marriages and lost youth? The only career that creative writing prepares you for is "professional drinker." Remember, most great writers drink themselves to death, so if you are a cut below the Hemingways of the world, how do you expect to avoid the same fate?

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