Drinking is as much a part of Mad Men as advertising and philandering, so get ready for tonight's fifth season premiere with this drinking  game. The two-hour premiere begins at 9 p.m. ET on AMC, so remember that this game is a marathon and not a sprint. You wouldn't want to miss it because you passed out:

Take A Sip..

When a woman simpers in front of Don Draper.

When Roger Sterling cracks a joke.

When Peggy Olsen seems frustrated with being a working woman.

When Pete Campbell acts weaselly.

When Lane Pryce is being a horn dog.

When someone cries in the office.

Whenever Joan and Roger flirt.

Take A Shot...

Whenever Don Draper tells someone, "No."

Whenever Betty is a terrible mother.

If Bert Cooper takes his shoes off.

Whenever Sally Draper does or says something that breaks your heart.

Whenever someone undermines one of their SCDP co-workers.

Whenever Roger says something slightly racist.

Whenever a real-life historical event is referenced.

Drink Your Whole Glass...

If there's a Dick Whitman reference.

If someone mentions Megan Calvet's teeth.

If Don steals someones idea.

If Roger leaves his wife Jane (Bonus: if he does so for Joan).

If Don and Betty flirt and/or hookup.

If Trudy Campbell wears a ridiculous hat.

If Don seduces someone.

Down The Whole Bottle...

If Don and Joan hook up.

If Paul Kinsey or Sal Romano show up.

If Duck Phillips tries to start a fight.

If someone drives a lawnmower.

If Miss Blankenship returns from the grave.

If Harry Crane ISN'T a total douche.

If Greg Harris (aka Dr. Rape) dies in Vietnam.

Take A Sobering Sip Of Prune Juice...

For every roommate you have who doesn't watch Mad Men.

Have fun.

[via Gothamist]

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