1. Unattractive, and usually overweight, chicks flock to you in bars.

When you frequent the same bars and lounges on a routine basis, it’s easy to earn a reputation amongst the establishment’s employees and other regulars—think of it as the “Norm from Cheers syndrome.” The first understanding comes from the bartenders and their knowing of what your poison is, which leads to fresh glass of chaser-less vodka as soon as you grab a stool. The second realization: What are this guy’s social habits?

And when you’re always seen leaving the venue with hogs and trolls on your arm, the unfortunate rep grows bigger. But you just can’t help it; the objective for any night of drinking, in your warped mind, is to lay the pipe before entering dreamland. So if the only females who’ll give you the time of day happen to bear the aftereffects of ugly-stick beatings, so be it.

Just know that your insatiable appetite for poon has become common knowledge, and, since you’re a decent-enough-looking guy, women who can’t get any loving elsewhere are going to pounce (You're probably delighted to read that). As they say, the first step towards combating addiction is recognizing the problem. Especially when said problem is the long-haired linebacker waking up alongside you.