2. You're not ashamed to read erotic fiction in public.

In this age of Kindles and iPads, actually carrying a binding-and-paper book is something to be proud of, to flaunt with pride. Doing so says, “Look at me, I’m an old-fashioned, classic kind of guy.” Even more tell-tale is the exact novel or short story collection that’s in your hands as you ride the train home, sit idly in a park, or recline alongside a body of water. Simply grasping a copy of The Grapes Of Wrath is an act liable to impress high-minded dames, regardless of whether you’re actually reading it or daydreaming about porn.

It takes a special type of man to walk around with a copy of Best Bondage Erotica in hand. Chances are, if you love reading passages that describe penetration with highfalutin prose, you’re most likely trying to fill in sex-free gaps with the next best thing after spanking the monkey in open spaces. Or hoping to catch the eye of a gal who prefers Harry Twatter to…you know. Either way, it’s unusual.