As Seen In: Hitch (2005)
The Perp: Alex Hitchens (Will Smith)

There are certain moves in life that one should never attempt unless, you're Will Smith. Don’t get us wrong, we don’t doubt your abilities with the fairer sex, but we do seriously question whether a girl would respond favorably to a stranger acquainting himself with her entire family history before a first date.

That’s exactly what love consultant Alex Hitchens does prior to his outing with Sara Melas (Eva Mendes), a woman with whom he had no longer than a two-minute exchange at a bar. Sure, Mendes is hot enough to make any guy temporarily insane, but just consider how you’d react if a date arranged a trip for two to Ellis Island, where they attempted to woo you with an introduction to dead relatives that passed through?

We applaud the effort, but consider the amount of Internet stalking that would likely go into that. Suddenly, a restraining order doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.