Last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was basically the equivalent of a watered down well drink. You don’t love it and know you deserve better, but it’s right there in front of you so you may as well finish it since another round’s coming. A whole lot did happen, but only some of it was worth discussing.
Let’s begin with Erica and Lil’ Scrappy and their reminder of why it’s very, very important you plan ahead when it comes to procreation. As we’ve learned in the last two episodes, Scrappy has not been paying child support. According to Erica, Scrappy owes her close to $50,000 in back child support. Fed up, Erica spoke with an attorney who made it be known that if he doesn’t pay his fair share, he’ll be appearing on another reality show: Lockdown.
Unfortunately, Scrappy’s legal counsel is Momma Dee, Not Esquire who approached Erica to complain about her son being served while they were at the strip club. Let’s pause right here. You’ve heard that your son isn’t paying child support. You speak to your son about the mother of you granddaughter’s claims. You join your son at the strip club—no judgment, they do live in Atlanta—and he is served papers over back child support. You’ve been given a back-story, you’ve tried to step in and help rectify the situation only to discover that the problem has not been solved. And yet, you’re mad at the person asking for back child support versus the motherfucker allegedly not paying it?
Momma Dee, I like you and your trap Anita Baker musical leanings, but you’ve got to get the fuck on with that bullshit. Remove your nipple from Scrappy’s mouth and tell him to stop tipping strippers and put some of that money in the hand of the woman who birthed his child.
Remove your nipple from Scrappy’s mouth and tell him to stop tipping strippers and put some of that money in the hand of the woman who birthed his child.
Meanwhile, Erica finds herself at odds with Karlie Redd after she finds out that Karlie Redd went behind her back and started a clothing store without her despite them planning to open one together for months. Rasheeda was the one who shared the news to Erica and the two rolled up to Karlie Redd’s store opening to shade her. That’s where Erica and Rasheeda—who wore matching coats for some reason—met Jessica Dimepiece, who obviously watches the show and was ready to pounce. On Love & Hip Hop Afterparty, Dimepiece says her issues with them are rooted in their disdain for fellow Memphis native K. Michelle.
No offense to Dimepiece, but I just met you and you’re already trying to beef with people who’ve been here longer than you and you don’t even know them? Girl, have a sip of water and settle your ass down. You’ve got all season to argue for no good reason for our amusement.
By the way, only in Atlanta will a store in the mall have a red carpet with its opening. It's probably next to a Panda’s Express, too.
Oh, and since I brought her up, I should note that K. Michelle made an appearance on the show. Remember when that used to be a big deal? It’s not so much now because she has no real attachment to anyone on the show. Sure, she has her industry friendship with Joseline and her seemingly forced good rapport with Karlie Redd, but eh. I’d love to see K. Michelle and Mimi Faust have a conversation, though.
Mimi, who continues to be the fly that needs swatting, met up with Deb Antney to discuss her stupid business arrangement with Nikko. Deb, who is hilariously the spiritual advisor of this show, told her exactly what to do: write some bullshit ass sentences and tell Nikko that’s their book deal and to fuck off. However, once Deb learned that Mimi is now in business with Stevie J, she shook her head with the rest of us. Deb asked if Mimi was still in love with Stevie J and she refused to answer. So that means yes, which means hell no, fool, to those of us watching who know better.
This woman does not get it. At all. But you know who does? Joseline Damn Hernandez. As advised by Stevie J, Mimi and Joseline had their meeting. It ended as poorly as we all expected it to. Joseline tried to be cordial but ultimately had to explain to Mimi how a conversation works. After that tutorial, Mimi got hostile only to have the nerve to ask Joseline why she’s so angry. Mimi, you’ve spent the past few years cursing out someone week after week on national TV. Who are you to ask anyone why they’re angry?
In any event, by the end of their brief meeting, Joseline told Mimi, “I feel sorry for you because you ain’t got a man.” Joseline followed that line by reminding her that at the age of 42, Mimi did a porn. You can’t see me, but I’m clapping like a seal right now. That’s it, Puerto Rican Princess. That’s exactly it.
Mind you, this only happened because as Joseline explained to Mimi, besides calling her Mollie the Maid (she does own a cleaning service, after all) she never took shots at her the way Mimi did her (calling her a slut, a prostitute, a ho, a bitch, etc.). Yet, Mimi thinks she’s the one who gets to sit above a cloud and look down on Joseline. I think when you start doing porn in your 40s, it's probably never a good idea to question anyone else's life choices.
In sum, Joseline won.
Oh, and Yung Joc’s trifling love triangle: I think producers were mistaken in assessing how interesting Yung Joc's thirsty baby mama is. I don’t care about her or her missing spine and self-respect. May God be with her sad self, though. Ditto for Stevie J, who is in rehab. May the high be without you, my man.
Until next time, y’all.
Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem, and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him @youngsinick.