How to Avoid Looking Ungrateful This Father's Day

Image via Getty/Saul Loeb

Who says a cooler must be confined to the functional constructs we’ve established? If your dad is anything like Homer Simpson, you really can’t go wrong with the Coolest Cooler. With a stereo, built-in blender, USB charger and a cutting board, your dad may as well tell his landlord sayonara and move under the bridge by the Hudson. ($399)

Give your dad the gifts of Steely Dan surround sound this Father’s Day with the Sonos Speaker. When your dad doesn't have to get off the couch to change the song, given there's voice recognition, we all sleep a little sounder. But you know that the first time it doesn't work you're going to hear him yelling at the darn thing like it just insulted his character. ($199)

Dads need soft mugs, too. Drunk Elephant's breakthrough formula offers a powerful formula that has exactly zero chemicals and manages to leave your skin impossibly smooth and hydrated. ($34)

This is a gift the whole family can get behind, because when Dad gets an espresso machine we all get little jittery. With the Smeg Espresso Machine, not only can you make coffee, you can look cute as hell doing it. I know the whole point of this is to prove to dad that you're not as selfish as you sometimes come off, but that baby blue? I mean c'mon. If he's ~into~ aesthetic, he'll probably appreciate it as well. Everyone could use little pick me up. ($449)

Maybe your dad's the boujee type, maybe he really likes Barefoot Merlot. Whatever the case, who is going to say no to free wine storage with the CB2 Cellar Wine Rack? 12 bottles may sound like your average Friday night, but you can also grab two, stack em, and have enough storage for a whole weekend. I know I've previously advised against making alcohol the only gift you give this holiday, however you can pass this rack off as home decor, which you can't do with just any rack. ($49.95)

So your dad likes baseball? Groundbreaking. He could also just be trendy, so you really can't go wrong with Todd Snyder Baseball Hats. With seersucker excellence, pops can look as dapper as the Kentucky Derby all summer long. ($78)

Off-White x Air VaporMax brings us another fire collaboration, and not all dads wear therapeutic hospital shoes. Grab dad a pair of the coolest kicks around and I'm sure he'll sport them around all of your significant others. Don't let him go for a run in them though, they're purely for the lewk. 

Save dad a trip to the pharmacy this Father's Day and give him the gift of curated skincare products. Since no two dads are the same, he'll have a curated box ranging from anti-aging products to shaving cream. We all know he complains about the loud music every time he accompanies you into a Sephora, so save him the hassle. (3 months $30)

I only know the difference between good coffee and bad coffee, but your dad may have a very sophisticated palate. If that's the case, drop a 'do you like your coffee with a hint of dark chocolate or molasses?' and once you have your answer, you're one click away from a Counter Culture coffee subscription. If he's receptive to your question, his house likely smells of rich mahogany. Give dad the gift of convenient caffeine this holiday. (2 x 12oz per month $27.46)

You always hear women boasting about the class their currently taking; 'I'm taking pottery lessons because I want to stimulate my creative echo chamber.' However classes are not gender specific, and it's narrow-minded to think so. Perhaps dad is the next Bobby Flay, or even the fifth member of the Blue Man Group, so get him a Coursehorse gift card and perhaps he'll feel enriched, or pressured to give a shit about something productive. 

Honestly I'm ready to buy one of these for myself, because there's truly nothing better than eating while lounging. Even if dad is the Charcuterie-board type, he can enjoy his curated meats while focusing in on the television and simultaneously avoiding conversation with everyone in the household. Bring his food to the living room and I promise he'll realize just how selfless you really are.  

Is dad hard of hearing? Or maybe he's always telling you you're being too loud? Even's H1 headphones develop personal hearing profiles for all different ears, so pops will no longer have an excuse as to why he's obnoxiously playing a loud video in the middle of a dead-silent waiting room. ($149)

Upon walking into my father's room, one might assume he has a personal masseuse based on the amount of back massagers he has on display. So, naturally, I got him a Brookstone 3D back massager this Father's Day. For all the achy dads out there, this one sure was a hit for me, and I'll be sure to remind him of my generosity next time I need a favor. ($69.99)

A decent percentage of guys shave, so chances are you dad might too. Get him this ~classy~ travel shaving kit by The Art of Shaving, which even comes with one of those shaving brushes that nobody really needs in 2018! For all those ladies and gents who buy their baby's father a gift on this lovely occasion, think of this as a way to prevent the continuation of the new  caveman look your mans has been trying out. ($95)

Perhaps you don't need to get dad a Coursehorse gift card to turn him into the next Bobby Flay, because he already is. If that's the case, get him something he can really cut into, like the Hawkins simple cutting board. This particularly pertains to those fathers whose kitchens already looks intimidating, add some abstract geometric cutting boards into the mix and boom. ($135)

Well there's another milk on the market and her name is Oat. They're starting to put her in everything, even in Lush's shaving cream. Lush, the trendiest skincare line this side of the Mississippi, has now given our boys Lush Dirty, an herbal alternative to regular shaving cream. For all the dads out there who still need another excuse to start shaving, look no further. ($13.95)

Ah Don Draper, the kind of pops who just wants to be left alone with his thoughts and a glass of rye. No worries my friends, you can snag him a bottle of Slow & Low Rock and Rye whiskey. ($19.99)

First of all, if you're dad is Ron Swanson, I want to say congratulations and I'm sorry, however he's likely easy to shop for, given he only enjoys three of four things on this god forsaken earth. So don't try and change him, this is his day after all. Grab him some Butcher Box bacon and maybe he'll even share with the family. (Ranges)

Reginald, bring around the car we're going into town to drink some Nicolas Feuillatte champagne. Cheers to dad, after all, he is a splendid guy, so let's raise a glass to him. (~$100)

Snazz up dad's office this year, or get him another structure on which he can play online solitaire. Everyone knows daddio could use a little push towards modernity, so why not start with a good ole mid-century Floyd desk? It comes in a number of color swatches so you can be sure to find his perfect lewk. ($460)

Here come the whiskey products my friends, and I can bet you that pops is here for it. Dad may not be a drinker, but he'll look snazzy as hell drinking milk out of these Riedel Aspen whiskey tumblers. ($29.93)

Well at this point your dad may or may not be an alcoholic. Everything is ok in moderation! Please enjoy responsibly! No really, stack up dad's liquor cabinet and give him some Cointreau liqueur, made with sweet and bitter orange peels. Maybe it'll take a little edge off and then we're all winners. ($29.99 - $61.99)

Remember that bacon? Your dad is going to need something to cook it on after all. The Hawkins Cast Iron Yanagi Pans blend Japanese design with a little modernity. Sizzle dad's kitchen up and he might even make you dinner afterwards. ($195)

When was the last time you saw dad pick up the vacuum and actually clean the house? Everyone loves convenience, and what's' more relaxing than a automated vacuum that cleans your floors. The iRobot Roomba picks up your shit and you don't have to ask it to. Papa could also use a little companion, because we all know mom hasn't put out in years. ($449)

Dad is wasted as hell at this point. He's wearing a Tommy Bahama button up whilst belting the chorus of Margaritaville. But then again, everyone needs to black out once in a while, it's hard being totally coherent 100% of the time. Avion Silver is a great addition to papa's cabinet, so get out your tiny umbrellas! ($49.99)

Nothing says 'I love you' like 'get the hell out of here.' Poppa needs a vacay as much as the rest of us, so push him in the right direction with the Best Made Co. duffle. He'll have enough room in his bag for all of his newly gifted facial products and enough liquor to sustain a village. ($228)

And to top it all off, I give you Hennessy. Dad doesn't remember your name, and he really doesn't remember mom' s name, and now he's talking about specifics from his college days that you never needed to know. Papa always said go big or go home. (~$40)