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Maybe you've been dating for a few months, or maybe you stopped having sex years ago. Regardless, you must have figured out by now that a gift should be in order. Statistically, 70% of relationships end within the first year, but luckily, material items last forever. If you grab one (or several) of these last-minute gifts, your partnership might even last a little while longer.
Manicure
For a woman, locating a go-to nail salon takes just as much effort as finding a viable partner who loves and respects you. For those couples lucky enough to be in NYC, there's Chillhouse, where your girl's manicurist won't roll their eyes when she ask for a little pizazz, and avocado toast and cappuccinos are a plenty ($45-$78). If you're nowhere near the Big Apple, and reside in much less exciting cities like Boston, Dallas, Rhode Island or Los Angeles, you can cop your girl a mani at MiniLuxe, also known by its founder as the "Starbucks of Nail Salons." ($45)
Glossier Body Hero Duo
From the trendiest of skincare lines, I bring you Glossier's Body Hero—a one-stop shop for all your lady's body cleansing needs. First of all, it's pink, so it's already pretty on-brand for V-Day. And even if your girlfriend isn't into the whole cosmetics thing, at least she'll have something to use after shower sex. ($35)
Aesop Parsley Seed Primer
If you cop some Aesop Parsley Seed Primer, made with all-natural ingredients, your partner can conveniently wash off all of life's impurities next time you both decide you need to "start fresh." ($159)
Vanessa Mooney Rose Charm Necklace
The risk value of gifting jewelry is always high. Determining another person's sense of style (assuming they have one) can be one of trickiest things to get right. However, take it from me: Vanessa Mooney's Rose Charm Necklace is something any person with taste can get behind. She might even question where your fashion sense has been all this time. ($70)
Steak
If you were already planning on cooking your other half a 16 oz. steak this V-Day, then you're a real gem and are doing fine without me. However, if you were going to go the ole Applebee's route, please don't and instead grab a couple of Stockyards Porterhouse Steaks. Few things say "I love you" like being comfortable enough in the relationship to violently chow down on some red meat in front of your partner. (2 for $69)
Massage
Similar to child rearing, intimate pleasure is best achieved when you pawn the grunt work off to someone else. I know if my Valentine, who coincidentally happens to be in another state right now, made it up to me by paying random strangers to come rub my back, his absence would no longer matter. Grab you and your boo a Zeel Massage (which you can book via app) if you're in NYC, or try Elements if you're elsewhere, and enjoy the ultimate relaxation without having to lift a finger. ($121-$160)
Expensive Lingerie
Everybody wins with lingerie. As someone who has been seduced before, I can tell you that sex appeal is the gift that keeps on giving (until the desire is gone and you're too comfortable to leave the relationship). Journelle is one of the staples of sexual luxury, which is why you can't go wrong in gifting the Bianca Teddy. It leaves you wanting more without having to rely too much on your imagination. ($149)
Non-Bodega Flowers
If you want to evoke a sense of romance, please don't give anyone a bouquet of carnations. Now that base one has been covered, find a way to jazz up the classic romantic rose petal with The Nicole by Urban Stems. Named after Director of Vogue Runway Nicole Phelps, the arrangement will even add a level of chicness to the most generic of relationships. ($138)
Dinner Unplugged
For those lovers who can't get through a meal with their significant other without mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, then it's time to make a reservation at an unplugged restaurant. In New York City, there's Brigitte. The Lower East Side restaurant, in an attempt to stop us from willingly turning our brains into mayonnaise, is confiscating phones prior to seating so you have to rely on your partner for entertainment. There will be Polaroid cameras as a social substitute. Welcome to 2018. ($65 Prix-Fixe)
Bagatiba Two Tone Hoops
Wearing silver and gold at the same time is a huge no in my book, so thankfully, Bagatiba is giving earring lovers the option to stunt either metallic shade on any given day. If you haven't taken the time to notice which color your partner prefers because you're a selfish asshole, no worries. With these hoops, there's no getting it wrong. ($210)
Jonathan Adler: Brass Viagra Pill Box
Tell him how you really feel. If you've always hated staring at the Viagra bottle at the edge of the nightstand, look no further than Jonathan Adler's brass Viagra pill box. That sucker will still be up and you don't have to be reminded of the medicinal aid keeping it there. ($198)
Quip Toothbrush
Maybe this year you're gifting a key to your apartment, or maybe you have trust issues and moving a permanent toothbrush into your partner's house is just as big of a step. It's time to stop acting like you're on the way to summer camp, commuting with your toiletries in a Ziploc. Show you're open to a little commitment with a Quip Toothbrush. ($40)
Gray Malin x Sugarfina
If your partner won't eat something sweet unless it looks really expensive, look no further than Sugarfina's collaboration with fine-art photographer Gray Malin. The two created a Bento Box filled with sweet treats that look like they were packaged up by Cupid himself. ($28)
Moët & Chandon Rosé Impérial Love Unconventional
Don't make alcohol the only gift you give this Valentine's Day. It's not a good look. However, a bottle of Moët & Chandon Rosé Impérial does add a hint of elevated romance to any night cap, especially compared to your roommate's old whiskey. ($58)
BoxFox Roses Are Red
A facemask, a candle, body "polish," and pink candies—everything your partner needs when desiring a peaceful break from you. Give them a bit of serenity this holiday with BoxFox's Roses Are Red Set, and remember that if they're not straight-up calling it lotion, it's probably worth the money. ($100)
Fresh Cocoa Butter Exfoliant
Next time you need to smooth something over with your partner, you have Fresh's Cocoa Butter Exfoliant as your backup. Crushed cocoa and coconut shells will wash away anything they need to rid themselves of and leave their skin feeling velvety as ever. ($45)
Prisoner Wine Company Thorn Merlot
If you're not the champagne couple, aka you don't find everything worthy of a giggle, but you still like to get really drunk together, chances are you can get down with some red wine. I'll say this again: Don't make alcohol the only gift of the evening. But you can use a bottle of Prisoner Wine Company's Thorn Merlot to lighten the mood after an awkward dinner. ($45)
Diptyque Baies Scented Candle
If you want the room to smell of roses even if your relationship rarely does, you're in luck. Diptyque's Baies Scented Candle will add a luxurious scent to any room, and will perfectly light a spark that may have been lacking all this time. ($165)