Don't let the skeptics fool you. Ghosts are very real. They walk among us. In fact, we're all ghosts in our own way. Ghosts armed with iPhones, just one vaguely worded text or DM away from using our ghosting powers for the common good. Of course, by "common good" I mean the ego destruction of those who simply won't let us live, man. But ghosting with skill is no easy task. As luck would have it, suddenly vacating someone's life is actually, like, really fucking hard. Can't someone else crush the souls of would-be companions and business associates for me?
Enter Ghostbot, a bot tasked with doing all your dirty ghosting for you.
"Ghostbot is both a glimpse of the future and a small taste of what's possible when the newly popular concept of 'bots' converges with Burner phone numbers that are smart and open for anyone to build on," Burner co-founder William Carter said when announcing the hella valuable text message autoresponder service Tuesday.
To make Ghostbot a reality, Burner—the app that ingeniously allows you to create temporary disposable phone numbers—teamed with the bot builders at Voxable and screenwriter Peter Miriani. So, hey, at least there will be a certain literary quality to the vague rejections.
"Unless you're a monster, you probably text all the time," Greg Cohn, founder and CEO of Burner, told Complex. "Texting is replacing email and voice calls for pretty much everyone and especially for anyone under the age of 30. Texting is great—who doesn't like to text? But it has also brought new culture and new behaviors, and they're not all nice—especially if you're a woman who's ever been on the receiving end of unwanted attention."
According to Cohn, the future is on Ghostbot's side. "Sure, you could block someone, but that's a bit of a blunt instrument," he told Complex. "In the future, before we all have flying cars, we'll have computer-assisted steering. Ghostbot is computer-assisted steering for your SMS inbox. And it's just the beginning of what's possible when you open up your phone number—your primary communication channel—to smart applications and agents."
For the sheer hell of it, I decided to give Ghostbot a try using what at least one storied expert (me) assumes would be the most ghostworthy attempts at texting one's way to a follow-up encounter:
To really get a feel for the power of Ghostbot, would-be ghosters just have to follow a few easy steps. Hit up the Ghostbot web page and activate the bot using your Burner number. If possessing a Burner number is not something you can currently lay claims to, fix that. Then select the contact you want to ghost. Boom. Ghosted.
What are you waiting on? Get to ghosting. It's what we, as a generation, do best.