I'll never forget Jimmy Fallon tousling Trump's hair. Not only did Fallon's bizarre 2016 moment with Trump inspire a debate about the dangers of normalization, the roundly bashed clip made a lot of people very thankful for Fallon's direct competition, Stephen Colbert. The former Colbert Report host had his own interview with Trump in 2015, including no such hair tousling, but it's what Colbert has been up to since that's surely making his Late Show predecessor very proud.
Trump, who apparently had nothing more important to discuss at the time, actually spent a portion of his Time interview this week addressing Colbert's nightly trashing of his presidency. "You see a no-talent guy like Colbert," Trump said. "There's nothing funny about what he says. And what he says is filthy. And you have kids watching. And it only builds up my base. It only helps me, people like him."
First of all, I doubt a lot of "kids" are watching a late-night show on CBS at 11:35 p.m. every night. Second of all, this reminds me: Colbert has amassed quite the canon of Fuck Trump material in recent months. Below, enjoy five of our favorites.
Colbert draws a handy swastika-shaped diagram to make sense of Trump's Orlando shooting response.
Following the tragic Orlando nightclub shooting in June 2016, Trump—in a tweet that's still live on his account—turned the tragedy into a self-serving brag. "Our leadership is weak and ineffective," Trump said. "I called it and asked for the ban. Must be tough." To help us all make sense of whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean, Colbert wheeled out his chalkboard and inadvertently drew a swastika.
Cartoon versions of Trump and Vladimir Putin passionately make out.
"While Donald Trump's position on a lot of issues is unclear, he has a firm position on Putin, and I'm going to guess it’s missionary," Colbert said in November 2016, just days after the election. Superbly realistic cartoon versions of Putin and Trump then joined Colbert at his desk for some televised tonguing.
Colbert draws a similarly handy piss diagram to make sense of Trump's Putin relationship.
When putting Trumpshit into words proves impossible, why not wheel out the chalkboard again? In March, Colbert dug a little deeper on alleged Putin and Trump ties with yet another handy diagram that we should all have saved to our phones for future reference. Instead of a swastika, this time Colbert inadvertently sketched out a TV-friendly golden shower.
Trump's mouth is designated as Putin's "cock holster."
After Trump walked away during an interview with John Dickerson, Colbert used a portion of his Late Show monologue in May to defend his fellow CBS family member. "You attract more skinheads than free Rogaine," Colbert said. "You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla that got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's cock holster."
Colbert declares victory and tells Trump to resign.
Naturally, Colbert directly addressed Trump's Time comments on Thursday's show. As the audience chanted his name, Colbert reminded Trump how this whole show business thing actually works. "Mr. Trump, there's a lot you don't understand, but I never thought one of those things would be show business," he said. "Don't you know I've been trying for a year to get you to say my name? And you were very restrained, admirably restrained, but now you did it. I won." Ever the gentleman, Colbert also gave Trump a helpful suggestion on how to move forward: "resign."