Though no one directly asked for it, one could reasonably argue that someone somewhere has most certainly been waiting impatiently for Jean-Claude Van Damme's thoughts on the 2016 presidential election. More specifically, this theoretical person is particularly curious as to Van Damme's assessment of Donald Trump's marathon of political destruction. Would the Street Fighter star playfully threaten some signature moves on Trump, perhaps in response to any number of egregious acts on the campaign trail? As noted by Death and Taxes, the answer to that inquiry is not only a firm "no" but also a perplexing example of Illuminati preposterousness gone totally awry.

"[Trump and Cruz] are not going to win," Van Damme said during a March 11 appearance on the French program Le Grand Journal, according to Death and Taxes. "You still have the Rockefellers, people like the Rothschilds, those big families that dominate continents." The Rockefellers and the Rothschilds, of course, are frequently mentioned names in the larger Illuminati conspiracy theory. "What [Trump] wants first, in my opinion, is to protect his interests," Van Damme added, praising Trump's alleged (i.e. bogus) wealth-inspired political independence. "Whereas someone who works for free is someone dangerous."

Van Damme (sadly) went even further with his Trump praise during the interview, as reported by Paris Match by way of Death and Taxes. "[Trump] will make a system, set an economy in its country because he is a businessman," Van Damme said, according to a Google Translate-assisted transcript. "He will sit down with guys like Putin, he will take off his tie, he will drink a vodka with Russian and he will talk to Russian and after he will do his best!"

Conspiracy theories are fun and all, but let's be totally real here: the Illuminati (and all variations therein) most likely definitely have absolutely nothing to do with Trump's opposition. Though Democratic candidates Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are often the most frequent and vocal critics of Trump's violence-inducing rhetoric, those within his own party have also expressed their own fears of a theoretical Trump presidency. All that to say: Stick to Van Damming, Jean-Claude.