The 50 Funniest Slogan T-Shirts

As Winter melts into Spring, millions of "summer clothes" boxes are opened across the nation. We unpack our shorts, our baseball hats and, most importantly, our funny T-shirts. We all have at least one funny slogan shirt, many middle Americans seem to own little else. Here are the 50 best ones. Some are funny because they're good jokes, some are funny because they're classics, and a large number are funny simply because someone would actually wear them. In public. In front of children and the elderly. Enjoy.

Streeter Seidell (@streetseidell) is the editor-in-chief of CollegeHumor.com. He's also a comedian, actor, writer, and creator of many funny slogan T-shirts for BustedTees.com.

Perhaps the most aggressive shirt to ever find an audience, this sums up the attitude of every middle schooler in the country. Tragically, most middle schoolers aren't allowed to wear their motto.

When it comes to recommending music on a T-shirt, it's best to be direct. This shirt always comes off as more of an order than a suggestion. (Props to Mighty Healthy for the graphic.)

It may seem corny as hell now, but for a minute this T-shirt was everywhere. Jesus was the ultimate homeboy: rolled deep with entourage, persecuted by the authorities, and got cut down in his prime, like an ancient Tupac.

A great way to let all the strippers at the club you frequent know that you find their trials and tribulations extremely funny. You'll all be having such a great laugh that you might even momentarily forget that you have to pay to see naked women!

Statler and Waldorf were the original haters, the world just had to wait for the phrase to match their personalities.

This one has a special place in Complex magazine's heart. Kid Cudi said it about Wale in a Complex cover story, Cooler Collective put it on a tee. Beef has since been squashed, but the slogan lives on.

Crack Cocaine decimated our nation's inner cities in the '80s, so naturally it's a perfect subject for a funny butt joke. In this case, it's Bart Simpson being crushed to death in a fat person's ass, which is also a horrific way to die.

This is the kind of shirt that says, "I'm here to party! Also, I'm not very good at partying, so someone is going to have to clean puke off this very shirt later." Thank George Carlin for the slogan.

Though every straight man is a female body inspector to some degree, only the creepiest of men are comfortable wearing the slogan.

This shirt lets the cops in your quaint, suburban town know that you weren't afraid of the skateboarding citations they were handing out on the reg. Quietly fight the power!

This shirt has wide appeal. For educated people it's a clever little joke at the expense of our genetic ancestors. For creationists, it's a joke at the expense of science. At least that's probably what they think.

This is one of those joke shirts that starts to become less and less of a joke the longer you think about. "Ha! That's funny. As if Stewart and Colbert would…make…good…You know, they're very well-informed and articulate, huh?"

Napoleon Dynamite quotes quickly reached Chapelle's Show-level annoying soon after the movie came out. This shirt was the best way to show your comedy prowess with annoying your friends by saying "heck yes" and "TINA!"

This shirt seems to have been designed for those who suffer from extremely low self-esteem. Everybody wants me! Everybody ever in the world!

Hopefully we all get that the joke is saying that you "hit" a piñata with a stick to burst it open and get the candy, not that you'd fuck a piñata

Freedom isn't free, if you read the fine print.

I like this shirt because of its tempered vanity. Yes, I am a big deal, though only kind of, mind you.

Like "More Cowbell" this shirt instantly identifies you as someone who has good taste, respects the craft of comedy, and probably doesn't have a girlfriend picking out his clothes.

The joke on this shirt is that the wearer is decidedly not sorry for partying.

Wouldn't it be cool if hot, dumb girls would "own" their hot dumbness like fat guys do their fatness? Great news: some do!

This clever little joke is pretty funny. Though the funniest T-shirt joke a fat guy can make is not wearing a T-shirt at all.

But…you switched the words around…wait…so you are drunk, or…? Ohhhhh, you're joking about your alcoholism! Funny!

Nerds are extremely skilled in taking a popular phrase, applying a piece of nerd lore as a graphic and creating a new joke. They're also extremely skilled at spending money on those kinds of shirts, which is why you see so many.

If you're wearing this shirt, chances are you are both drunk and Irish.

This is the perfect joke shirt because it's equally funny in every single situation you may find yourself in life. Funeral? Graduation? Daughter's birthday party? Even your mugshot (like this idiot). Equally funny in each.

This is one of the few shirts that can be worn by both golden-hearted do-gooders and slimy perverts frothing at the prospect of smushed boobs on their chest.

Just make sure to tuck this one before you invert yourself on a keg, or the joke may be ruined and you'll have to do another keg stand.

Perhaps the voices one day will tell you to stop shopping at Hot Topic. Till then, we will be seeing this shirt on every disaffected suburban "prisoner."

Based on how many variations there are of the original Irish version, all races, religion and states of intoxication deserve a kiss.

More Cowbell became a kind of cultural inside joke. If you "got it," you were cool. At this point though, every single American is in on the inside joke, so if you still say it you are a jackass.

How orally pleasuring a woman saves our forests is anybody's guess, but I think this is a statement most of us are happy to get behind.

Because honestly, you'd fuck that sandwich, right?

The pain one man endured as a result of national disunity became the very thing that united the nation in laughter.

Farts are objectively funny, though funnier than a fart joke on a T-shirt is the fact that someone would wear this. In public. Around other people.

This shirt wasn't funny until all the kids who got D.A.R.E. shirts at school in the '80s grew up and started getting fucked up while wearing them.

Every guy would probably fuck on the first date, but it takes a special kind of dude to emblazon that fact on a T-shirt. And it takes a very special kind of girl to do the same.

At first glance, this is nothing more than a crude joke. But is there more? Is that very question not the same that puzzled our caveman ancestors, as they held their simian noses and recoiled in disgust? Do we not wonder the same today when riding the subway or sitting in a meeting? 200,000 years since we evolved into our current form and yet the eternal question remains: who farted?

(Yes, that's Booger from Revenge of the Nerds II.)

There was a magical time in the '90s where normal teens started to wear shirts dripping with innuendo featuring a nerdy guy with a big dick. What's weirder is that parents in the '90s just let that happen.

Based on how many times I've read this slogan on grizzled old bikers, I'd say a lot of bitches have fallen—or jumped—off. Or they weren't ever there to begin with.

A shirt finally proving that when it comes to eating disorders, obesity is by far the funniest.

This self-deprecating number is often seen on those who no amount of alcohol is going to render pretty. At least they have a sense of humor about it, which is attractive all on its own! Sometimes. Sorry, fat kids.

Gaining fame on the chest of the giant Richard Kiel in Happy Gilmore, this shirt is an expression of supreme confidence in ones ability to end another's life. On the 7' 2" Kiel, that statement is far more believable than it is on the obese NASCAR fans who wear it now.

It is hard to extricate this shirt from the young, chubby boy wearing it in Bad Santa, but I am almost certain this shirt is funny on its own.

A trap for men everywhere. The very act of reading the shirt makes you, reader, the reason for its existence. Clever girl...

This shirt is funny not because of the pun, but because 90% of the time you see it it's being worn by a skinny white kid in Minnesota—except in the case of this dude, who apparently missed the warning.

All you need to do to see how funny this shirt was when it first appeared is find a picture of your dad wearing it in the seventies. That giddy, wide smile can only mean two things: he's wearing the funniest shirt he's ever seen or your mom hadn't made him stop smoking weed yet.

A bold claim for a number of reasons. For one, you're practically daring people to call bullshit on your supposedly enormous penis. You're also admitting that you may have 'sucked it' at one point which, though impressive, is also disturbing.

The greatest city in the world demands one of the greatest T-shirt slogans in the world. It could have just ended with "Duck" but that wouldn't be New York's style. No, we need to insult you, too. So thanks for visiting and come back and see us soon, motherfucker.

In case the limerick shirt was a little too clever for your friends, this one should let them know that you really do find your penis quite impressive. Always good for laughs.