We're already a month into 2015 and if there's one goal you should have this year, it's to finally attain happiness, healthy personal relationships and financial stability. Just kidding, your goal in 2015, just like my goal, is to have sex.
But how will you know if you're going to have sex in 2015? There's no way to tell, especially because in order to do "it" (a teen told me to call sex "it"), you have to have someone else who wants to do it with you as much as you want to do it with them. And that's hard because meeting people is terrifying.
STILL, there are things you can do that will increase or decrease the chances of you fucking, so you should probably just go ahead and do/not do the following stuff, for the reasons I tell you to do/not do them.
Drew Millard has never fucked. You can read more of his work on Noisey and follow him on Twitter here.
1. fuck2015
2. building with fam
3. smoking weed
4. twitter
5. destroyed denim
6. google glass
7. marty mcfly
Dressing Like It's The Year 2015 In Back To The Future II Instead Of The Regular 2015 That We Actually Live In
What is this, Comic Con? Oh wait, yes, someone just told me this actually is Comic Con. Never mind, dressing like it's the Back To The Future II instead of the regular 2015 that we actually live in will indeed help you have sex this year.
Will this help you fuck in 2015? Yes (but only because it's Comic Con).