On Tuesday night, the Raptors made a big stink about his late game layup with less than 10 seconds to go. DeMar DeRozan and P.J. Tucker were all up in the god's grill because he broke the unwritten rule of letting the clock run out when a game is out of reach.
Toronto damn near started a brawl over this; which is interesting seeing they did the same exact thing against the 76ers late last year. During the 81st game of the 2016 regular season, while up by 22 points with five seconds on the clock, the Raptors' Norman Powell stole the ball and windmilled it home with authority.
Did the 76ers cry about it? Nope. They kept it moving because there are no mercy rules in professional sports.
Lance tends to get himself caught up in the moment. Like when he made LeBron smell his fingers:
Or when he blew in LeBron's ear:
Lance is the villain you root for. He's Al Capone, he's Dennis Rodman, he's NWO-Era Hulk Hogan (until Playoff LeBron decides to turn heel). And now he's back in Indiana where he belongs. Lance bounced around the league after bolting for Charlotte in search of a bag in 2014, but now he's home at the Fieldhouse. Born Ready entered the game to a standing ovation, and the crowd egging him on is the sole reason he decided to go for that lazy uncontested layup.
Lance Romance will hopefully be in the playoffs agitating the shit out of his mortal enemy LeBron James to give the world a new set of GIFs for our gluttonous consumption. But I've been on the Born Ready wave:
And there are more Lance-related tweets where that came from.
Speaking of waves, a friend brought Lance's hair to my attention. He texted me a video of his postgame interview with this quote attached:
"That is the only dude with waves going in every single direction. Like not uniform, they're literally going opposite ways. It's truly uncharted territory. Lance is making history."
I immediately got seasick and googled ways to get rid of the feeling.
Most of you truly do not deserve someone like Born Ready. His type only comes along once in a generation, and we must give people like him flowers while they're here. If the fans at Bankers Life Fieldhouse didn't already remind him, I want to also profess my love for Lance Stephenson. May your waves stay on swim on your way to dethroning the King. I appreciate your contributions to this beautiful game I love.