25 Accessories For The Gaming Hipster

Look at the person to your left. Chances are, that person is a hipster. Now look at the person to your right. That person has made fun of a hipster. Now look inside yourself. If there's no one to your right or left, you're a hipster.

But you're also a gamer—that's why you're here, after all. You were a big nerd before it was cool. Halo? So 2007. Bungie sold out, and so did Bethesda. In any case, Dark Souls is way more immersive than Skyrim. And Demon's Souls was so much more atmospheric than Dark Souls. And now it's time to start the list—remember, each one of these super-cool accessories and gadgets is an essential part of your unique identity as a gaming hipster. Read on!

Since the original source of these uber-hip can cozies has gone dry, we'll direct you to the Drunken Moogle instead. You still can't buy one, but you can at least read more about it there and fantasize about keeping your Miller High Life cold in true nerdy style. We're sure there's a joke about hipsters using a product affiliated with Atari to kill brain cells in here somewhere, but eh, oh well.

God forbid you get a drop of condensation on your $15 Ikea coffee table. These coasters, inspired by the many safety advisory signs scattered throughout GLaDOS's labs in the Portal series, will help prevent just that. Basically, you put your cups on them, and there's won't be any danger of spilling on the couch you found out by the curb because the family down the street was throwing it out. Phew.

These are for the gamer who never wants to enter reality at all. Imagine that split second right when you wake up, when you're in between sleep and consciousness, and the first thing you see is a two-dimensional koopa looming above your bed. Terrifying, right? Plus, you had way too many PBRs last night.

Truly hip kids know how important it is to always carry a lighter. What if the girl with the ripped tights who works at the arcade needs someone to light her clove cig? Yeah, we know it's not the '80s. We just live in Williamsburg.

Minimalism is totally in right now, as are posters. This one's got it all. Naturally, we can name all of these, because we're the biggest hipster gamers of all. Wait—now that we've admitted it, does it still count?

Combine Pong with a clock, and you get, well, the Pong clock. When it's playing itself, the left side scores on the hour and the right side scores on the minute. You can also play against the AI with a flick of a switch—if you can get your hands on the clock at all, that is. The Pong clock is so exclusive that only 200 were ever made—200 originals, that is. According to Sander Mulder, all the rest are posers. Phaw.

Metal Gear Solid 4's entire premise revolves around "the man" taking over the world and enslaving us in a never-ending cycle of pointless wars and conflicts. Any hipster worth his or her salt will tell you that this actually occurred decades ago, only no one's realized it yet. They've also got Sonic and Kratos, by the way, and they take custom orders, though you're not technically supposed to drink out of these. Not that it matters—you'll be using them for decoration. Scotch is a sipping drink, after all.

Unfortunately, these rings don't actually grant you the powers of telekinesis, fire or a swarm of bees. They do, however, allow you to flaunt your love of Bioshock, one of the most immersive worlds in gaming history. At least, you thought it was, until everyone else started thinking so too, and they made a sequel. How blasé. Land of Rapture has a lot of other great nerdy jewelry, too, though, so you might find something cool there.

Moleskines are a staple of any writer, journalist or hipster's arsenal, and with their new Pac-Man collection, you can show off your love of retro games in addition to your impeccable taste. It's the perfect place to jot down your notes, poems, groceries, and lists of games Pac-Man is better than.

Vinyl is the cartridge of the music world. You know it's better than whatever new-fangled technology the executives are shoving down the throats of the consumer masses these days. It also costs a hell of a lot more at this point, but it's totally worth it.

At no other time in history has it ever been so cool to dress like your grandpa, though ours never had a Duck Hunt sweater. Probably because he died before Duck Hunt came out. This one's DIY only, but we figure if you can cut your own hair you can make yourself a sweater.

Olly Moss is the artist behind those video games-turned-classic books, which may be the hippest thing we've ever seen. He created the Pac-Man Ouija Board for LA Gallery 1988's "Ghosts" art show. The effect varies slightly from a standard Ouija Board: instead of cryptically answering your questions, Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde compete with one another to tell you their favorite colors.

You know it's really autumn when the hipsters bring their scarves out of hibernation. By observing them, you'll learn that scarves are great for indoor as well as outdoor use; that they're not only for keeping your neck warm, but for making sure your t-shirt doesn't clash too hard with your flip-flops. Bits to Die For has the perfect scarves for gaming hipsters, including Asteroids and something that reminds us way too much of Custer's Revenge (if you don't know what that is, we're not going to tell you).

We wouldn't recommend you just any old figurine. No, it doesn't get any more retro or underground than Geno, our favorite forgotten-but-not-quite character from any Mario game. We're not surprised you haven't heard of him—in Super Mario RPG for the SNES, he arrived from outer space with a name (♥♪!?) so hard to pronounce that he assumed the identity of a rather unassuming doll—Geno—instead. The figure was designed by Camille Young, and though it's sold out, we've got our fingers crossed they'll make some more one day.

We actually couldn't think of anything better to say than the artist's description: "Carry around 6 oz. of liquid courage, wisdom, and power with this custom Triforce flask. While it holds a bit less than a bottle, it does fit easier into tunic pockets and is less likely to shatter during fierce battles." While Link fills his bottles with fairies and magic beans, we're fine with scotch.

There's nothing like that first cup of black coffee or herbal tea or whatever in the morning, and this mug will make drinking it like jumping down a large pipe into a sewer filled with angry turtles. It even comes with one of the four pictured coasters, because hipsters love feeling like they're getting more than they paid for, even if they're buying a $30 used shirt.

Handing out your business cards in style can go a long way these days, especially if you work in technology or entertainment. Even if you just want to carry around business cards that say "Let's bang" with your Twitter handle underneath and hand them out at parties, this case would serve you well (if it wasn't sold out). The color scheme matches the Famicom—the Japanese version of the original Nintendo system—perfectly. Nintendo really had their shit together back then.

Just because you look like you just rolled out of bed most of the time doesn't mean you don't know how to get dressed up fancy. These Space Invaders cufflinks are a great way to let people know you're a gamer even as they gawk in envy at your sense of style.

Earthbound is a game many of us played as a kid, which means for gaming hipsters, nothing developed today is anywhere near as good. This replica of Ness's yo-yo, used to pound countless Starmen back into space dust, is also a competition-winning toy, according to the website. You'll probably use it once and then put it on a shelf, but that's okay too.

Click here to buy it at Amazon, $1.95

Giving your expensive new technology a retro makeover is one of the hippest things you can do. It's why your laptop is covered in stickers and your brand new camera looks like it's from the '60s. This silicon case will make the back of your iPhone 4 look like a game boy, and everyone will think you're staring really hard at its battery compartment. Deep.

Why settle for modern touch controls when you can use classic red knobs and circle buttons from the arcades of yore? There's a reason hipsters are obsessed with the past: it was better. And as tempting as it can be to drop a few grand on a real, retro arcade machine to stand where your desk used to be, this is probably a safer investment.

Nothing says "I'm cooler than other gamers" better than walking around with a Super Nintendo in your pocket. Sitting on the train blowing into a giant game cartridge might earn you some weird looks, but hey, it's not like you won't enjoy the attention.

Space Invaders is a true classic—any hardcore gamer can tell you that. Though other video game-inspired watches may be flashier, this one's got at least one unique feature: it's made of spare parts from Apollo 11. There were only 78 made. We're not sure how much it cost, since every retailer listed on the site is in Europe, and we didn't feel like running up our phone bills today. Suffice to say, you're probably not going to get one. Now suppress your hipster rage and move on to the next item.

The Commodore 64 is about as hipster as a retro computer can be, with a name like that. This year Commodore's been trying to make a comeback, and they've updated their dated machines to compete in the modern world—though, to the delight of us and many others, they've left the system's classic aesthetic virtually unchanged. It drips with nostalgia, which is like morphine to hipsters and gamers alike.

These have got to be the ultimate hipster gamer accessory. There's no easier way to recognize a hipster than by their enormous, dark-framed, plastic glasses. They wear them like a badge of pride—especially the ones who actually need glasses (from playing too many video games, of course). French designer Dzmitry Samal created these by "mixing vintage aesthetic with advanced production elements." That's great, but all we can see is this.