Image via Complex Original
The blog style gossip site Media Take Out, which launched in 2006, is notoriously known for inciting celebrity drama. And as the most visited urban website in the world, readers constantly demand slanderous dirt (read: shade) on A-listers. The most fascinating part about the online gabfest, though, might be its approach to crafting headlines. Never before has a web entity appropriated such a distinct (read: ratchet) style and voice. Here, we recap the best headlines.
After Showing Her AZZ Yesterday In The Day . . . Kim Kar-TRASH-Ian Decided . . . To Show Her BREASTISES In The Evening!!
Date: January 5
Exactly how many breasts makes up "BREASTISES"? Just curious.
SHOCK PIC: Willow Smith Posts A Pic ONLINE . . . She's SQUATTING On the Toilet . . . And EATING Toilet Paper!!!
Date: January 11
Charmin or Downy?
SHOCKER: Frank Ocean's Boyfriend Gets EXPLICIT On Twitter . . . Talks About LICKIN BALLZ And Er'Rything!!!
Date: January 3
We always figured it was "Er'ythang."
AWWWWWWWWW!!! Drake Ran Into His LONG LOST HOMIE In The Club . . . Meet The Dude Whose D*CK Drake Was Riding . . . BEFORE WEEZY!!
Date: January 31.
We get it. Also: One too many Ws.
LMAOOOOO!! Just When We're Giving CREDIT To Amber Rose For Being The MOST STYLISH REGNANT CHICK . . . She Goes And Pulls This RATCHETNESS!!
Date: January 6
Capitalization is key here.
IT'S GOING DOWN!!! R&B Singer Keyshia Cole Goes On TWITTER . . . And Threatens To SLAP THE SH*T Outta Her Sister Neffe . . . The Next Time She SEES HER!!!
Date: January 10
MediaTakeout, our foremost gossip authority on R&B's history of sibling rivalry.
CAUGHT SLIPPING!!! Groupie 'ACCIDENTALLY' Posts Pics Of NBA SUPERSTAR Kevin Durant . . . IN THE BED!!!!
Date: January 11
Playas mess up every now and then. It's all G.
MTO WORLD BREAKING NEWS: They Just CONFIRMED It . . . Mimi From Love And Hip Hop Used To F*CK Joseline And Steebie . . . AT THE SAME DANG TIME!!!
Date: January 10
"WORLD BREAKING NEWS" though?
Remember That PRE-TEEN Group B% That Diddy Was PROMOTING . . . Well The LEAD SINGER ust Knocked Up His Girlfriend!! (Bikini Pics Of The PREGNANT CHICK)
Date: January 6
Not just regular pics, but BIKINI pics!
Rapper RICK Ross Is THAT DUDE . .. He's Got A CUP OF LEAN In One Hand . . . A BLUNT In The Other . . . And A LIGHT SKINNED CHICK Around His Waist!!!
Date: January 8
Such amazing description here. Props to the copywriter.
OH MY GAWWWWWWWD!!! Woman PRAISES Her Babys Father . . . For Going To EXTREME MEASURES To Get His Daughter DIAPERS!! (Men . . . How Far Would YOU GO For Your Child)
Date: January 12
Father of the year or undercover brother? You be the judge.
OH MY!!! Lady Gaga Has A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION . . . She Was Bending Over And BUSSING IT . . . And Her Pants Split!! (She Ain't Got NO DRAWERS Either)
Date: January 13
Are you that surprised?
CAUGHT IN THE ACT???? Rihanna And Chris Brown Are Spotted LEAVING THE CLUB . . . With Mysterious WHITE POWDER STAINS On Their Pants!!!
Date: January 13
Can we all just agree to stop pretending like we're so shocked every time Chrihanna does something?
BREAKING NEWS: Ice T's Wife CoCo CAUGHT In A New SCANDAL . . . Now Pics Of Some Dude SQUEEZING HER AZZ In The Club Are Leaked!!! (Ice T's Pimpin . . . Is RAGGEDY)
Date: January 14
Raggedy? That's one way to put it.
WHAT THE F*CK???? Rapper Chief Keef's MOTHER . . . Is Photo;d Throwing Up GANG SIGNS ON INSTAGRAM!!!
Date: January 24
Who doesn't love a well-placed expletive?
BREAKING NEWS!!! A Fight Breaks Out At A BABY SHOWER . . . 200 People Fighting . . . FOUR Arrested Including The Babys Father!! (Please Don't Let Them Be BLACK)
Date: January 14
A fight or a brawl?
ROBBING THE CRADLE???? NFL Baller Desean Stevenson Is Dating A Girl . . . That Just Turned 18 A Few WEEKS AGO!! (Is She TOO YOUNG . . . Or JUST RIGHT)
Date: January 14
A moral quandry ineed. JK JK.
SAVING CHICK!!! Diana Ross May Be A MEGA MILLIONAIRE . . . But That Doesn't Stop Her From Using COUPONS AT THE STORE!!!
Date: January 17
Hey, we get it. Gas prices aren't getting any better.
AWWW SH*T!!! Former NBA Commentator AHMAD RASHAD Is On The Verge Of DIVORCE . . . From His BILLIONAIRE SUGAR MAMA!!!
Date: January 15
If three exclamation points doesn't get the message across, nothing will!!!
We Know We're GOING TO HELL For Saying This . . . But We THINK That We've Found . . . PRECIOUS' Twin Sister!!!
Date: January 15
When you begin a headline with "We Know We're GOING TO HELL For Saying This" you should probably just stop.
MTO EXCLUSIVE PICS: NeNe Had An ACCIDENT . . . She 'FORGOT' To Wear Drawers . . . And Her Leggings Had A HOLE IN THE CROTCH!! (Pics Of NeNe BENDING OVER And BUSSIN' IT . . . YUCK)
Date: January 15
Paging the Twerk Team.
WHOOPS!!! Actress Eva Longoria Had A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION . . . One Of Her TIDDAYS Accidentally Popped Out!!
Date: January 16
We would officially like to submit the word "tidday" to the dictionary.
Jennifer From BASKETBALL Wives Was Out TRYING To Look Cute . . . But Her Lips Are SO CRUSTY . . . It Looks Like She Just Ate A POWDER DONUT!!!
Date: January 16
Is "powered donut" a new term for, uh, ... nevermind.
ON BLASSSST!!! Top Blogger Claims That Kanye West Is GAY . . . And Dishes WHO His Boyfriend Is!! (Pics Of Yeezy SHIRTLESS With Dude)
Date: January 19
Yellow journalism at its finest.
OH SH*T!!! Superhead Now Claims That She F*CKED DRAKE . . . While She Was PREGNANT With Lil Wayne's BABY!!!
Date: January 17
BEST. EPISODE. OF. MAURY. EVER.
LMAOOOOOO!!! ESPN Analyst Jalen Rose Gets CALLED OUT . . . On NATIONAL TV . . . For Wearing A FAKE GUCCI SHIRT!!! (That Ish Looks REAL Fake)
Date: January 20
Fake it til you make it, playa. Oh...wait.
BAD GIRL BEY: Beyonce Is GOING WILD . . . She Now Has A BODY PIERCING . . . And It AIN'T HER EARS!!!
Date: January 17
So what, exactly, are you implying MTO?
SHOCK PICS!! Nicole Sherzinger Of The PUSSYCAT DOLLS Wears A See-Through Dress . . . And Her NIPS Are The Size Of Two FRISBEES!!!
Date: January 24
As the old adage goes: The story is in the details.
You Know SHAWTY LO . . .The Rapper Who Made That 'ALL MY BABYS MAMA' Reality Show . . . Well He Got ARRESTED For Child Support!!!
Date: January 19
The irony.
LOL!! Elderly Rapper Ice T Is WORKING OUT LIKE CRAZY . . . Apparently He Is Going To 'CONFRONT' That Dude Who Said He SMASHED COCO!!!!
Date: January 16
Elderly? Yeah, that sounds about right.
WOOOOW!! Deelishis Gets On Stage At A Popular SKRIP CLUB . . . She Looks Good . . But WHO YA GOT . . . Dee Or The OTHER CHICKS!!!
Date: January 21
There are no losers here.
SHOCK PIC: Popular Chicago Preacher Posts Pic Of Him And His Granddaughter . . . Taking A BATH TOGETHER!!! (They're Going HAM On Twitter Over This)
Date: January 17
Still waiting for Merriam-Webster to add "going HAM" to its word list.
EXPLOSIVE REPORT: Popular 1990s Rapper Is Put On BLAST . . . For RAPING His Male Fans . . . IN THE BOOTY!!! (Shock Crime)
Date: January 20
Just how explosive, though?
EXTREME CAMELTOE!!! If Trina Wants To Be Able To HAVE CHILDREN SOMEDAY . . . She's Gonna Have To STOP Wearing HYSTERECTOMY PANTS Like This!!!
Date: January 21
It's nice to know MTO has Trina's well-being in mind.
CAUGHT ON THE ACT!!! We Got SEXTING Messages . . . From An NFL Baller . . . To A VERY POPULAR Twerking Model!! (D*CK PICS Plus Video INSIDE)
Date: January 22
How, exactly, does one go about becoming a "popular twerking model"?
MTO SUPER-DUPER WORLD EXCUSIVE: We Have PICS . . . And EVIDENCE Of Kim Kardashian GETTING DRUNK While Pregnant With Kanye's Baby!!! (OH HEEELLLL NO)
Date: January 22
Child services where you at?!
CUTE OR RATCHET??? Popular Skripper Gets A Pair Of THONG PANNIES . . . TATTED ONTO HER . . . So That She Can NEVER BE NEKKID AGAIN!!
Date: January 23
But isn't the end goal of stripping to eventually be naked?
Rapper Cam'Ron Was Spotted In The Club With His FIANCE . . . And He's GRABBING HER Booty Like He Was Squeezing FRESH FRUIT!!!
Date: January 23
Mango? Watermelon? Grapefruit? THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW!!!
Chris Brown THREATENS Rihanna Haters . . . Says If They Keep Calling HER A HOE . . . And He'll Go MADEA ON THEM!!!
Date: January 24
Breaking: MTO can predict the future.
MTO WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Chris Brown KO's Frank Ocean . . . Frank ALLEGEDLY Called Rihanna A 'HOE' . . . And Chris Put Him To SLEEP!!
Date: January 27
Basically a Hollywood story arc in one headline. MTO is nothing if not efficient.
