Father's Day is a time to celebrate the man who brought you into this world (or the man who took over for the man who brought you into this world) with the gift of a table saw, necktie, or T.G.I. Friday's gift card. While greeting card companies, beer commercials, and the entirety of Western Civilization have no trouble celebrating men for fulfilling their most basic biological imperative, films have never quite been able to. Dads do bad things in movies and Moms do good things. Or, dad left and mom's still here. This may sound reductive, but film shows again and again that cinematic dads are basically assholes.

Pardon a moment of film geekery here, but part of the "Hero's Journey" (the structure upon which all studio movies are built) is "Atonement with the Father." To atone with the father, you probably have to have a pretty shitty relationship with your old man. So, if you follow Joseph Campbell's myth structure, it helps if your film dad is kind of a shit head. If you aren't pissed at your dad, you can't really make peace with him. Hence, all of film's villainous papas, from grizzled drunkards remembering their glory days to Darth Vader.

In honor of Father's Day, let's take a look at the most common ways dads have been terrible in movie history, from a tendency toward missing little league games to a penchant for filicide. Here's How Fathers Disappoint Us, According to the Movies.