Ranking the 'Game of Thrones' Episodes That Gave Us PTSD

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Event: The Wildlings attack The Wall.

What we thought would happen: The Wildlings would attack. Jon would probably stave them off.

Shock Factor: As it turns out, the fresh-faced Northern boy Ygritte orphaned is actually a Yung Shooter. What goes around, comes around, bae.

After four seasons of subverting our expectations, usually via the most horrific twist imaginable, the payoff to a GoT season's worth of build-up was largely by the book (no pun intended, book readers!). It sounds entitled, and totally disrespectful to the flawless production team—stunning choreography, CGI, giants—but damn if this isn't one event that more or less played exactly to anyone's expectations. With so many unfortunate events befalling beloved characters, who would've thought we'd be bemused by what passes for a happy ending? 

Event: The White Walkers ravage the Wildlings just as Jon Snow's come to save them.

What we thought would happen: Jon would persuade the Wildlings into his treaty. It would be boring and largely uneventful.

Shock factor: What's that, an avalanche? Oh, nvm just the ICE ZOMBIES FINALLY VALIDATING THEMSELVES AS A THREAT.

Good god these Ice Boyz are really about the business, fam. It's not disrespectful to say they didn't pose a viable threat before, but this is the first time they've really acted on it. The fact that such a breathless twenty-minute-but-feels-like-an-eternity zombie ambush is ranking penultimate only speaks to how nuts this series is. And just when you thought you'd had GoT's penchant for killing off your favorite pegged, they go and introduce a side character, make you care about her and then orphan her children. Ice cold, guys.

Event: Daenerys unlocks the next level in achieving Full Dragon Mother powers.

What we thought would happen: Some crazy shit involving Jorah Mormont in the pits.

Shock factor: The fighting pit is revealed to be one elaborate trap for unhappy Mereen assassins to take out the conquering Dragon Queen. The prodigal dragon-son returns. AND THEN DAENERYS MOUNTS AND RIDES HIM WOW.

Daenerys rode a dragon. 

Event: The Mountain and Oberyn square off "for Tyrion," but really, settling a years long beef.

What we thought would happen: George would subvert his own subversion, allowing a [new] good guy to win for once.

Shock factor: This is is definitely going to be one of those rare Ws for the good guys, look Oberyn's got him fam this fight's over, The Mountain's such a fuccboi, wait why is his hand twitching, why's the homie standing so close...OMFG GEORGE RR YOU A SADIST FAM.

Truly, George is. He constructed Oberyn's entire revenge arc as a rebuke to the fairytale elements of The Princess Bride. In that regard, while the twist and the overall book-to-TV execution is topnotch, it's ultimately less enjoyable from a fearless, grim storytelling aspect. It's just cruel.

Event: Stannis storms King's Landing to take the throne from Joffrey, with only Tyrion standing between them.

What we thought would happen: Honestly, could've gone either way.

Shock factor: No more GQ King's Landing covers for Tyrion, wow at that face slash. Even crazier: Cersei's grim determination that if her family's going to go down, it'll be on her terms.

It seems so long ago, but, for one year, Tyrion wasn't the underdog. In fact he was very much in power. Only the overall success of his term was riding on how he handled Stannis's impending invasion. In most show's he'd be rewarding for more or less nailing it, but, alas...

Event: The beautiful union of sociopath Joffrey Baratheon and shameless social climber Margaery Tyrell.

What we thought would happen: At this point, we were conditioned to expect the unexpected.

Shock factor: Ding dong, the king is, finally, dead.

While it was great to see the little bastard (literally and figuratively) finally go, one thing that's important to remember here is how many problems his death by stealth poisoning created for the characters still worth rooting for on the show. And how it robbed a Stark child the chance to do the deed and avenge their father. Rarely are there true victories on this show, sigh.

Event: The [consolation] wedding of some Frey girl to Robb Stark's uncle.

What we thought would happen: Robb Stark would finally get the manpower to ride on the Lannisters.

Shock factor: Quite possibly the most brutal twist in television history.

Just in case you thought killing the hero was a feint just for his son to take up the more atypical fantasy genre avenge narrative...uh, nope. This is the moment all bets were truly off for any fan favorite character as well as any hope of true justice.