According to The Guardian, EL James' Twilight-fan-fiction-cum-BDSM-phoenomenon Fifty Shades of Grey will have 20 minutes of sex scenes. Which is actually more than all of 2014's theatrical releases combined.
The British pub puts that into perspective by stating that, Eyes Wide Shut, Stanley Kubrick's orgy-filled meditation on Tom Cruise's inability to get laid, featured under nine-and-a-half-minutes of people-other-than-Tom-Cruise having sex. And that film had a wide 160-minute runway to work with. But then again, it wasn't based on a manuscript someone started because they wanted to be dominated by a sparkly vampire and/or Robert Pattinson.
Fifty Shades is 100-minutes long. Going by our elementary math (cross-referenced by The Guardian's math), that's a cool one-fifth of the movie. But it also begs the question: what will Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan be doing when they're not writhing in levels of ecstasy that few will ever be lucky enough to ever feel? We think maybe 20-minutes is a little skimpy. What, is the movie just foreplay? Find out on February 13, a.k.a. the reminder before Valentine's Day to come up with a Valentine's Day date. At least you'll have something to talk about... for 80 minutes.
[via The Guardian]
